On Crystal Sand
by CupcakeLerman
Summary: After my best friend's sudden death, the only thing that runs through my head now are recurring flashbacks, reminding me of the best and worst times of my life being thrown back in my face. I am widely ignored now, even by my best friend. That's the kind of guilt you pin on yourself for your best friend's death.
1. Earthquake

**On Crystal Sand**  
>by <strong>CupcakeLerman<strong>  
>[a <strong><em>K i n g d o m H e a r t s<em>** Story]  
><strong>Kairi's<strong> POV.

**Note: **I think fanfiction stories are _best read_on mobile formatting, such as the iPod touch…

Chapter 1 - Earthquake

It was the hottest day of the fall, yet the wavering leaves continued to fall ever so slowly to the ground, and some would land on my window pane. I watched as water began to burst from their underground water faucets, spraying carefully manicured lawns with fresh water to quench the grasses' deep thirst. The afternoon time was an excellent time to indulge yourself; girls would either lay at home reading the newest novel, or they'd enjoy the company of hearty visitors; while boys would lounge at home and try to accomplish achievements on their new video game, when they weren't out playing around with their neighborhood company.

I, however, was a typical sixteen-year-old girl at home alone—but unlike others that would sit in relief of being alone at home—I was a nervous wreck. I did not answer any calls, door-bells, mail-men, or anyone for that matter. I woke up at two in the afternoon, ignoring my morning alarm for my daily sunrise jogging. My eyes were dried out and tired, because even with the nearly twelve-hour sleep, I couldn't get this restless image of a curse floating over my head out of my trance-like memory. I tried to arouse the tired in my sky-blue eyes to leave, bringing back the normal peace in my eyes. _No luck. _Restlessly, I tousled my auburn hair that was already close to a bright red to retain its normal straight feature; _no luck._

I guess it was because the funeral was tomorrow.

Ever since I woke up an hour ago, I would be straightening up my room; something I normally do when I am so nervous I needed to take medication to go to sleep. My arms and legs were more tired than after that time I had to run five miles to my friend's vacation house, or when I had to cheer on an over productive cheerleading team. Sadly, all of my past actions seemed minuscule and unimportant compared to what I and some of my other friends were dealing with.

Right now, the corner of one of the photographs on my Nostalgia Wall was beginning to curl, and the tape I kept annoyingly reapplying wouldn't always stick. Maybe it was because I was too preoccupied with the rest of the mess I created yesterday, back when I was flinging random shit around my room. _What a mess I am this week._ The folding edge no longer annoyed me; its curled edge refused to stay down, and I accepted it that way. _Maybe if I didn't try to purposely fold out that one person on the photograph…_

Next thing I know, I'm staring at my ceiling, unrelieved in what was supposed to be relief, and looking at more numerous amount of photographs and memorabilia from my past years. Why I decided to tape all these things on the walls in my room wasn't clear to me anymore; I just felt like tearing it all down—wasted memories that didn't seem right in this room. I didn't belong here…I belonged somewhere else—_someplace where no one would find me_.

The first week of the new school year seemed so far away; I wasn't the Kairi I was back then. And to think that two weeks later was a whole _different _dimension. A clear white cloud began to envelop my sight, forcing my eyes shut into something I found a total different type of relief—_sleep._

I.

_Silent gasps. Lasting stares. Wondering expressions. Those are the things I listen to and see as my two best friends and I stroll down the hallway, trying to be oblivious to everyone around us. My arm is linked around the boy on my left, and I am holding hands with the boy on my right. I am the only girl in this trio, and this trio is honestly far more balanced than any other clique or groupie in the entire Destiny University High School. The many emotions and looks being thrown at the three of us don't break our exterior, the shell of being three inseparable best friends._

_Sora, the boy on my right, the boy I was holding hands with— he was my boyfriend. It's only been three months, but in those three months, we've been impossibly linked together. This kind of relationship wasn't the typical one time encounter of a mushy kiss-me-all-day type of fling, but the kind where I would seriously consider staying with this partner for the rest of my life._

_ I loved him to the point where I'd seriously consider marrying meant a lot to me; he held my first kiss, my first love, all my secrets, and, right now, his hand was interlocked with mine tightly, a symbol of our close friendship still lingering. Not much changed after we started to date; in fact the only thing that did was the fact that there was an even more visible truth that'd we'd both waited for an unbearably long time._

_To my left was Riku—our best friend for as long as I could remember. To me, he has and always will be the big brother type to me, and I have loved him back like a brother. He sometimes was a lot more comforting than Sora, and he made me feel like my life was complete. When I told him first about me and Sora dating, he took me into his strong arms and embraced me, saying, "Thank you, Kairi." I don't know as to why he did, but he has been a strong link in this three-way friendship. There is no awkward tension in this friendship, because, after all, it's only an ungainly walk in life if you want it to be awkward._

_All three of us came from the same island home, Destiny Islands. Being as we were neighbors, we easily bonded together, spending our days by the beach, building pretend rafts and lazily lounging by palm trees. Riku and Sora were undoubtedly best friends, almost brothers, even before I moved to the island. They would have play sword fights, contests, and at night, it was their tradition to watch for meteor showers. Those two were special kids. When I moved onto the islands, nothing much had changed, except we had more things to adventure into and more members to play scavenger hunts with. They happily included me into their closely-knit activities, and after getting over the initial guilt for forcing them to include me, we all played and got along really well._

_And now, nearly five years after we all met, we walked calmly, hands and arms locked with each other's, becoming the item the school had known us as—a widely recognized trio. While we were still walking, Sora leaned in and gave me a small kiss on the cheek. This earned him several sighs and femine-wise squeals from the girls in the hall. He smirked to himself, while I laughed quietly to myself. He and I always used to love teasing the girls he knew had a thing for him, and now that I was the girl in the picture, we were such saboteurs by teasing the crowd so nastily. We all knew that the best physical attribute to Sora was his chocolate-brown naturally spiked gravity-defying hair, but one thing that no one but me knew was—it smelled a lot like cookies._

_We continued sauntering towards the end of the hallway, when I saw a familiar face shrouded behind shiny blonde hair. I quickly nudged the boy on my left. "Riku, it's Naminé," I whispered. Sora had also taken notice; he had slowed down his pace, giving Riku and I time to talk._

_Naminé was a girl Riku used to like, until all the others used to tease him for actually liking someone. Everyone knew him as "The boy that wouldn't date," and after the announcement that Sora and I were dating, he became known as "The Silver-Haired Third Wheel". He's sometimes like that, letting people get to him and all that. He nearly had an anger episode from all this teasing, but Sora and I showed up at his house and calmed him down by blasting music on his house stereo speakers and dancing crazily, ignoring the nearly shaking house. We had a great time dancing together. No one but us cares about that._

_Riku shot me a quick glance, and I quickly understood. This girl had hurt him by not returning his feelings back then, and now, even though Riku still had feelings for her, she was now ready to accept him. But it wasn't the way things worked to us. We didn't think someone could just ruin somebody's life and try waltzing back in like nothing ever happened._

_Naminé realized we were approaching her, and she stepped forward, her speech already stuttering before she even began to speak. "Riku! I-I have something to tell—"_

_I waved my hand as politely as I could in front of the platinum-haired girl. "I'm sorry, but Riku's not available at the moment." It was an obviously placed lie to prevent any speech from her that I knew would upset Riku in some way._

_"But—" Her blue eyes watered, like lakes with streams flowing delicately down as gravity forced the stream to fall._

_"I'm sorry, Naminé, but he's not in the mood now—"_

_"I just need to talk to him for a second—"_

_Riku came up from behind me and faced her. "Naminé! I'm telling you, just stay away from me. I don't want to talk to you." Riku had sputtered out his comment at her so hard that he had to unlink his arm with mine. He was really angry, but not an irreversible-mistake mood; it was the concerned shade of anger that covered him when he was hurt emotionally. Sora and I were the only ones that understood when Riku needed to be alone to solve his own problems. Riku didn't need to cause a scene at this point, and it was only our first week of being second-year high school students. I looked over at Sora and saw he had a discerning look on his face as well. Naminé was quivering slightly, just enough for it to be hidden, but not enough to go unnoticed._

_"Hey, break it up. Riku, let's go," I tried convincing Riku, resting my hand on his shoulder to calm him down._

_His fist was clenched, his head facing downwards and not facing the already-grouping crowd that had begun to stare. "No, no, I'm staying; this girl needs to know to back the hell—"_

_"Riku. We're going," Sora said, pulling on Riku's arm, the way little brothers did when they wanted to leave with their big brothers. It would tear my heart if Riku resisted to his own non-related younger brother. Riku finally let go of his state, resisted the grasp of my hand on his shoulder, and trudged off without Sora and I. I gave Naminé a half apologetic look and half a blaming look. She had caused a scene when it was extremely unnecessary. I took hold of Sora's hand and chased after Riku as he stormed away, leaving a circle of people witnessing one of the last times they'd known our trio the way they used to._

Throughout these short five years that I had had with Sora and Riku, I learned that best friends weren't just there to take up space. They were there for a reason. I found a reason when I met Riku and Sora. They were at first just my older brothers—my guardians—but now, they were more than that. We were so inseparable it was impossible to break us up. Not even death could make us part.

So when I knelt down onto the sticky and damp grass of the town cemetery called Destiny's Door, I didn't spontaneously start crying. Sure, there was a little teardrop waddling in the corner of my eye, but I pushed the feeling back and sucked up all the willpower I possessed. Thankfully, I didn't feel like I had stayed kneeling on the grass very long, and before I knew it, the heavily expected rain clouds persuaded more rain to fall over us visitors. They all poured out of the cemetery like the rain runoff did too, leaving just me, my friends' parents, and my single remaining best friend, us two being the last in our trio. He was dressed in an all-black suit, complete with a dark tie that wasn't even on straight. It didn't suit him very well, considering how cheerful this guy was compared to someone with a darker expression, but I knew he'd do anything in honor of his best friend. Slowly, I slipped my hand in his, imagining him holding my hand and giving it a reassuring squeeze, but there was no sudden reaction. His hand was stiff in mine, trying to ignore the fact that I needed reassurance. Light sniffles came from behind us, and I almost forgot we were keeping these good people waiting in the rain, while my friend and I sat sulking for longer than usual in an emotionally quieter silence than I had even prepared for.

The flowers I had placed on the grave were beginning to become stained and wilted from the incoming rain. "Kairi," I hear Sora say monotonously. I could hear the restraint he was holding back on me as he looked slightly down on me. "We have to go."

His parents were already in the car, consulting with my other friend's parents, comforting them, reassuring them—I knew they weren't in the kind of mood I was in. They'd probably feel it for bringing me into the world, something that could've been avoided altogether. Maybe the guilt that seemed to collide with the feeling of the pelting rain was what was forced them to pay their respects as well, when everyone knows well that the murderer doesn't just appear at their victim's funeral.

Rain pattered on the top of my head, already drenching my ill-fixed hair. The bow I had put on was already wet all the way, but I didn't reach up to readjust my insignificant hair. Anything but this could've happened. Here he was, my best friend—my big brother—laying underneath the already muddy ground where I would gladly be under any day for Riku to come back.

But right now, I wasn't and once again, I had to live with the responsibility. "Okay. Let's...well, let's go home," I say to Sora, as I slowly slip my hand with his again. But again, when I needed comfort, there was nothing on the receiving end, just another holding hand that guided me to the car. I had never felt so blameworthy or disgusting in my entire life. I knew that if I had only listened to everyone's suggestions, the world wouldn't have yet another untimely death. After Sora slammed the door on my side harder than he would normally do, the minute—_the second_—we left the cemetery, two tears slid down my cheeks. I didn't let anymore pass down my cheeks. I didn't deserve to express emotions. My hands reached to my face, but I did not scream or tear anymore. I did however feel the overwhelming emotion to recklessly follow into Riku's path; a path he didn't deserve, but I should have followed myself. Blame wasn't alone while I covered my face with shivering palms. This was all my being. No longer would that arm link with mine, or that hand come in contact with mine any longer. I'm all alone, and I deserve to fall into Wonderland and hopefully, I'd never come back. They'd all like that, _especially _Sora. Sadly, this was just the first day. The first day I had on my own. The first day I couldn't do a thing about anything. The first day I had to disappear from the crowd forever.

_Now that I have a life like this, I had also learned that you have to appreciate how life works. Things will come and go, and when they do, you have to accept it. People get hurt. People hurt one another in this world. But hey, I'm one of the few that actually can understand that now._

**- —- - - -**

Nobody said a word of greeting to me anymore without frowning. My parents pretended that they knew I made a mistake and was over it, but they didn't treat me the same anymore. I couldn't do what I used to love anymore. But despite his death, school continued rather quickly, and that was the only time now that I would go out into the public again. Whenever I tried to make it to my next class, people would snicker at me, or worse, glare. People stared at me while I sifted through the crowds in the hallway after fourth period. I eagerly wanted to make it to fifth period speedily, when I remembered a sudden fact. Sora was in that class with me. He was unavoidable; I'd spent all morning avoiding him successfully and hoped that I wouldn't make contact with him for the rest of my high school days.

I scanned the hallway around my locker, which was next to the girl's and boy's locker rooms. No one was surrounding it, supposedly the opposite on an average day before the incident; though someone, undoubtedly a hater of mine, taped a sign on my locker. Scribbled in defining black sharpie were the words, "_YOU'RE A HORRIBLE PERSON,"_ along with another word I wouldn't favor repeating. I ripped the paper down from its pedestal, crumpling the sheet in my palm. I didn't know who could've done it; there were a lot of kids in this school. I knew I wasn't egocentric; I had friends who _had_ liked me for who I was and how I acted. Unless they'd abandoned me as well, which was likely.

I couldn't fathom the unfavorable idea any longer. Olette, Selphie, Xion, and many others were all the people I had once called friends; now I couldn't confide in them anymore. Naminé probably wouldn't even talk to me after all the shameful acts I have done against her. They'd all left me for a purpose. I closed my eyes and perceived a loud bang when I slammed my back on my locker. Tears threatened to flow, but I hastily shut out the rest of the world and my line of vision. What was I supposed to do now? _Bang_. I force my head to collide with the cold and stiff locker._ Bang. Bang. Bang_. After a lot of banging noises, I can already feel the fresh bump that is forming on the back of my head. A throbbing pain accompanied it, but nothing was comparable to this burden being placed on me by the world. _How long would this last…?_

**- —- - - -**

It was fifth period, and I had to avoid all the eyes glued on me. Half the class decided the center of attention wasn't Mr. Valentine's Physics lesson, but more of me. The only person I knew who wasn't prying me for my feelings or simply gazing towards me was actually the one person I expected to not be looking—the boy sitting directly in front of me, pretending to ignore me, which, I could've dealt with now.

His spiky brown hair threatened to poke me in the face as I remained seated behind him, trying to take notes down. I recalled that same spiked hair I used to tug on, teasing that I would have to one day straighten his hair with a straightener because it was _so _spiky. I once even chased him around his house with a straightener clenched in my hand. That was actually the first week of our more-than-friends friendship. At this point, I did not know what it would take for us to go back to normal, but presently, it would have to take the _apocalypse_ to change this situation. Heck, it would take my death and immediate replacement for Riku for us to just be friends again.

"Class. Pay attention. We're starting the next group project. You'll all get extra projects if you don't look at me," Mr. Valentine asserted. The class spun in the direction of the teacher, and I felt all the eyes preying on me lift away. Even though everyone lifted their tension on me, I could feel the negative emotions people emitted towards me, just by the look on their faces. It wasn't much fun when you're the one being looked upon as shameful.

"Good." He continued to pace in the front of the room, rubbing his chin hypothetically. "You'll be arranging a physics assignment relative to a sport you decide on. Skateboarding, football—they all have a little physics in it. Pick a sport, and then experiment with it on the physics of it. You will then proceed in testing it. It will be due in one month and one week. _Two_ people in each group."  
>He flicked his hand in our direction. "Go on, shoo, find your partners." Everyone groaned at the idea of a beginning of a semester project, but they all went to go for their partners.<p>

It had now developed into a direct awkward deal. I knew everyone would avoid me and pick their best friends, which I couldn't really pick upon anymore. I nervously glanced around the classroom for any familiar faces, racking my head to determine if any were willing to let me join them. There was only one that struck me as particularly familiar: a certain _spiky_ brunette that showed no interest in turning around to see me.

Of course, I wasn't the only one with problems on partners. Before a minute even passed, an argument had already started.

"She is MY partner."

"No, she's MY partner!"

I turned to the back corner of the room to see surprisingly two boys quarreling of all times like now. Just by their pouting faces, they looked like little kindergartners. A flaming red-head with oddly styled hair that stuck everywhere and dashes of makeup streaked on his face was waving his hands for emphasis at a blue-haired man with dark eyes. They were arguing over a blonde chick I saw in the corner, who I observed was checking her nails, as if she enjoyed attention. The girl was Larxene—leader of the chic queen bees of the school, of which I used to be affiliated with. That was another thing I didn't particularly want to remember anymore.

"Want to take it outside?" the red head said.

"LET'S GO, AXEL!" the blue haired boy yelled, his hands commanding invisible forces to mysteriously start '_working_.'

Mr. Valentine rose from his seat, irritated at the disruption of classroom peace, and also raised his voice noticeably. "Axel! Saïx! Stop the language! If you can't pick partners, then I guess I'll pick partners for you! Now sit down, and _shut up_!" He got up from his seat, looking as if he were going to smash in Axel and Saïx's heads. He _obviously _disliked talking and arrguments. They immediately sat down, still a bit pouty also.

"You've changed," Saïx muttered under his breath. Axel stuck his tongue out at him.

"Good." Mr. Valentine looked satisfied enough, and ran a lint roller as a nervous habit over his neatly addressed suit. "To avoid any more scuffles with you mere children, _I _will be picking partners." He turned to address the white board that was waiting for his choosing for the groups.

Now I was even more than earlier, when I could've skipped the entire process of partner-picking by getting a hall pass. Everyone showed me their evil glances as if what was going on was my fault. They all glared at the girl who murdered her best friend, while she looked shamefully at her desk. I could even hear in the corner the red dude, Axel, whispered to his buddy Saïx, "Gee. I hope I don't get paired with reddy over there, behind spiky. You hear what she did to silky?"

"Silky? You mean silver-haired dude, did suicide last week? Dude, what'd she do? I thought they were tight?"

"Didn't hear? Dang, Saïx! Okay, well she—"

I didn't have to hear the same story twice. I would've gotten up and straightforwardly kicked these kids in the face, but all I did was used my kiddie straw, dipped it into my cup, and sucked it up.

The teacher was now done assigning partners on the project, his list posted on the board. The pairings were awfully biased; I knew already who I'd be paired with without even looking. He turned around, showing his deep expression and dark eyes to my own sullen eyes and mellow expression. It was something I'd never seen before from him, and now that I was seeing it myself, I couldn't help but want to try to fix that frown; to turn it upside down.

"Hi, Kairi."

"Hi, Sora."

Things were going _smoothly_.

"Can we get this over with?" He turned his desk to face mine, and sat down in the seat. "What sport?" he asked tediously, flipping his pencil on the desk over and over. Just by sitting in front of him, I could tell he was irritated and completely uninterested.

"Well, I don't...exactly know any that would overall show the complete physics of anything while being completely original—"

"Ice skating it is," he concluded.

"Ice skating? Where'd you—"

He gave me this look right then and there; it was definitely hatred, no emotion of taking me back as a friend, just pure hatred. But it wasn't forced—it looked as if he wanted to forget everything between us. Childhood, friendship, partnership—all of that would be just a waste. I could've withered at the sight of that. I accepted his rejection and from that point on, I pretended we did _not _know each other.

"Fine," I agreed, assuming the same monotone voice as his. "Anyway...isn't there like a whole movie on it?"

When he heard my sentence, I saw that he had looked slightly perked up. I knew it was because that this movie I asked about was one of the countless movies we'd watched together when I slept over at his house. It was his cousin Xion's, and I didn't want to watch a scary movie, so we settled for a Physics geek that did ice skating as a school project. There were good skaters in it, which actually caused me to try to take up ice skating lessons. It didn't end up too well when Sora even tried to teach me.

"Yeah...there is. We could, um, copy the dynamics of it. Make it easier," he suggested. He was rubbing two strands of hair with his finger, tugging like the way he does when he's nervous.

"...I kind of...forgot the movie," I replied honestly. It was more than two years ago, I couldn't say I remembered what happened in the movie.

"Uh, my cousin has the movie...if you wanna borrow it," Sora offered, but he has been to my house so many times, I think he'd remember if I had the necessary equipment to watch a DVD.

I shifted in my seat, knowing where this was indefinitely leading. "I don't _have_ a DVD player, Sora."

"Oh, uh, right," he said, trying to keep calm while he tried scratching at the corner of his desk with his red pen. Slowly, he began to ask me: "Wanna...go see it at my house?"

I nodded, wondering if I should be excited or worried. I didn't need to reconcile with Sora, but it seemed that fate wanted me to. "Sure, Sora. Saturday at nine in the morning...?" I asked. On Saturdays, my only time was in the morning, because I had community service hours for graduation in the afternoon.

He stopped scratching the corner of his desk and just stared blankly at his desk, his eyes beginning to look a little playful than his earlier shame expression. "Can't Kairi. It's my Saturday cartoons block."

Without wanting to or thinking about it, I let out a little giggle. _Another one of our jokes_. Sora, Riku, and I used to watch them on Saturdays. Every single pocket monster, fantasy card game, or digital monster on television, we watched it religiously every morning.

"Oh." I snickered without warning. "I forgot. Okay. Noon I'll be there," I told him. "And don't you forget," I pretended to assert.

"I won't, mom..." Sora muttered, slipping up on his abstinence from our conversation. His lips looked like he wanted to take it back, but I let it slide; this was the Sora I missed.

After that, it was back to the original settings—the awkward stares, cliché looks, and hushed coughs. I didn't have anything else to say to Sora. He'd already said a lot to me the past weekend. What happened this weekend after the funeral...to me, it was unspeakable. I couldn't talk straight, form coherent sentences while he told me off. The thoughts came coming back to me again, along with the familiar guilt, like always.

Why was I being pinned with all the guilt? Maybe Riku's decision was a decision that he had been thinking about that didn't have to do with me. Why was guiltiness the only emotion I could feel right now? I couldn't explain it, but I always felt it tug my shoulders, weighing me down and exasperate me. Was it because I practically killed my best friend? I couldn't explain myself with logic and words. If Riku were still here, I should've given Naminé a second chance.

II.

_Third period. It is the first week of the new semester of our first year, and Sora and I make our way to Biology. Riku took a Biology Honors class during this time, unluckily with Naminé herself. I'd have to ask for the details about that later. _

_Naminé was a nice girl. Honestly, a year ago, I could've been best friends with this girl. She had no feelings whatsoever for Riku yet, but for this other blonde in our school named Roxas. _

_Anyways, I see Riku and Naminé enter the classroom at the same time, almost simultaneously, and they bump into each other quietly. Naminé glimpses up to Riku unsuspectingly, and she lets a shy giggle escape. Riku laughs a little, and he continues to his seat while glancing backwards to Naminé. _

_Sora and I give each other confused looks that tell that we both saw the same things. We laugh loudly, echoing in the hallway, and almost everyone looks at us. Even Riku and Naminé see us, but I didn't think they knew what we were laughing about. I looked at Sora, who looked as if he was going to explode from so much laughter, and I saw that he had already fell to the floor. The thought of Riku dating someone like Naminé and nonchalantly bumping into a girl caused me to finally collapse on top of him, clutching my stomach. It wasn't Riku-like; he seemed so cool._

_Sora looks at me, and his cheeks are a little red, but I don't think it's because of me. Why would he be embarrassed? We were so comfortable with each other back in junior high. He is still smiling widely, but he tries to push me off of him, since I was at the point that I was hugging Sora from all the laughter I had._

"_Kai! Can you…get off?" he says in-between his slowly-dwindling chuckles. I almost laugh even more at the sight of his now all red cheeks, and I finally come to my conclusion._

"_Why is your face all red, Sora?" I say, finally propping myself up on the floor._

"_What? It is not red!" Sora said, blushing even more. I let out a laugh that seemed so out of place, and that's when I realized that people were staring, especially Riku. Sora and I look at each other, and now it was my turn for my face to become red._

_We were way too comfortable with each other._

* * *

><p><em><strong>AN**: I THRIVE on plot twists c:_

_You know those flashbacks; they're **numbered** for a reason. Hmm…_

_How was it? Yes, yes, this does sound like fluff. All these flashbacks are gonna make me sick yeahyeahyeah. I don't know. I was proud about this._

_Oh and I have another reference to what I did when I was younger. "Every pocket monster…" Yeah, that's Pokemon, Yu Gi Oh!, and Digimon. I need to watch those again possibly…_

**_Oh, this will turn out beautiful, I tell you._**

_- C u p c a k e _Lerman.


	2. Feelings

**On Crystal Sand.**  
>by <strong>CupcakeLerman<strong>

Chapter 2 - Feelings

As the day continued to drag on longer than expected, I wasn't feeling the best, especially since there was a special assembly this afternoon. And I was sure I knew what it was about. Everyone seemed psyched about it, but all I could do was listen to everyone talking about the issue.

So I phoned my mom, asked if I could go home early, and her shiny silver car drives up to the front school entrance, the silver paint causing reflective rays from the sun murder my eyes. They were a little red from forespoken guilt, but that's only because I kept rubbing my eyes too much, but my mom didn't notice; or at least she hasn't been noticing. It's been, what, a few days? I expected her to understand why my eyes were a little redder than normal.

When I open the door, she has a concerned expression on her face. "Hi, sweetie. Is it another one of those days?"

"Yes, mom. I...need sleep. Badly," I sourly explained.

Shrugging, she steps on the gas pedal and we're off. The school flies a little back in the rearview mirror and I turn to stare at the long drive home. "Awh, good sweetie. I was going to take you somewhere anyways."

"Where, _home_?" I hopefully say, rubbing my forehead.

"No..." My mother drags out the word, leaving it to dwindle for a while. I look at her very slowly, suspecting a mom-act to suddenly appear.

"Then, where—"

"A doctor, honey."

"Well, why, I'm pretty sure my checkup was like three months ago, and I'm not physically sick or anything—"

"You talk too much," my mother concludes, keeping her eyes affixed on the road.

I stop forcing words out my mouth and settle to just stare out the car window. Her words spoke to me yet again; maybe it was the opposite they did. Because if I really did talk too much, then maybe Riku would still be here _if I had talked enough._

**—- - - -**

"Mom, what kind of office is this that I have to be blindfolded to go to?" I said, still wobbling back and forth in the parking lot out of the car.

"It's for safety measures," she explained while holding my wrist to walk across the lot.

"Safety measures? Mom, I'm going to get run over with a blindfold on!" I hear a door jingle and my mom politely thanking someone for opening a door.

My mother seems to be frustrated with her seemingly twelve-year-old daughter. "It's so you won't know where this is!" she impetuously says, holding me with an iron grip. I nearly trip up the stairs when she says this and the fact that she seemed like she was trying to hide me from the rest of the world.

"Why wouldn't I want to know where this is?" I said, using my free hand to scratch at the shielding blindfold that made me feel vulnerable.

"Because either you'll immediately leave, or...something worse." She unwraps the blindfold from my closed eyes and I immediately see what she's talking about. She's right, I do want to leave this place, and I could walk out right now—

"Miss Kairi?" the woman at the reception desk calls out. She adjusts her glasses as I walk towards her, obeying her sudden directions. She smiles towards me, but when she notices that I'm not a little girl like she probably expected, she cupped her hands together. I pay all my attention to her gesture, and not the words that follow; words of praise on how adorable I look in a little uniform, when I'm really seventeen years old, the age when it becomes just plain creepy.

Her hands look like she's a sprightly cheerleader who's praising her high school basketball team; or rather, as I remembered it—her best friends. And here it comes again, another oblivious connection with reality and the past. I had to be careful to swerve to avoid these, since they also were packaged with tight-knit recurring headaches.

_III._

_"Come on, you'd be absolutely cute in it!" _

_"No, Sora! There's no way in hell I'm going to put that slut costume on!"_

_"It's not a slut costume..."_

_"That's what all the guys say."_

_"Kairi...just put it on!"_

_"No! Wait, what are you doing? Hey, Sora! Get off me, no, don't—"_

_"There. It looks pretty dazzling, doesn't it?" _

_"...I look like a whore."_

_"But you're my beautiful whore."_

_"Oh, right."_

_"Now, go out, and wow them!"_

_I'm gently forced into the gymnasium, empty save for a table with three girls with hair ribbons. They are applauding maniacally for their newest addition to the squad, a girl with stridently blue hair, a stick-slender body, and huge... boobs. She's jumping up and down, making the scene look even worse than normal. I didn't think boobs could be that big in our school._

_"Thank you, thank you, Yuna!" the blue haired girl says, waving her pompoms in the air._

_"No problem, Aqua! You are just a stud magnet!" The girl called Yuna is laughing like a typical every-day twenty-first century girl, far from my standards, as I am just an ordinary girl—with mildly intimidating guyish thoughts that sometimes made me think blue over pink— that is not, repeat not, cheerleader material._

_"Next!" a girl next to Yuna yells, popping a purple bubblegum bubble while flipping through sheets of paper. Yuna takes a seat, and all three judges simultaneously adjust their perfect hair and fix their boobs or something related to that._

_I try my best to keep my shoulders high, my chin up, and my sexy-walk happening without me bursting out of character. The girls have astounded looks on their faces; well, as much as they could with a visible makeup supply layered onto their faces._

_"Ugh!" the team captain Yuna, I guess, complains. "Why don't we have this girl on the team anyways?" Yuna says loudly._

_"Yeah, she's like, totally hot already!" the bubblegum girl says while furiously chewing her gum. _

_I try to interrupt, still fixing the uniform that took pride in hanging everything out—specifically my chest. "Hey guys, I thought cheerleading was about dancing—"_

_"What's this girl's name?" a third cheerleader says. She leans over to gum girl, waiting for her to arrive at my name._

_"'Kairi'...Oh, that's a sexy name already! It probably has this deep dark meaning behind it...You're on the team!" _

_I try to protest. "But I haven't even..."_

_"Hush! Kairi, you're on the team. Our first game is on Saturday," gum girl says. She comes over to me, close enough to see the 'Rikku' name tag on her uniform, and flips me around and around until I'm dizzy beyond belief. _

_"Whoa! Can you stop—" I try saying, but the girls are still occupied with me coping to the sudden swirl in my world. I finally come back to my original state to yell at them, "The hell was that for?"_

_"Kairi, your coordination skills and attractiveness are top-notch. We don't give a fuck if you dance like a retarded horse—Saturday, hun!" _

_"W-What about this uniform?" I ask._

_"Keep it. We suggest you wear it tomorrow. Show the guys how you work it."_

_"Tomorrow? But tomorrow's Tuesday, four days before the game—"_

_"Goodbye, my little prodigy!" Rikku pushes me out of the gymnasium through the door I came through, and into the arms of Sora, still waiting there, a little flustered at my untimely appearance._

_Rikku is still holding the door open for me, and looks surprised that Sora was waiting for me. "You're DATING Sora, the varsity basketball hottie? You should've told us!" _

_"Well, it was kind of 'a secret' until now. Besides, we've been best friends for a long time," Sora says while helping me up. _

_"Oh. That's cool. Well, your little honey bun Kairi made the squad! You guys are such a cute couple!" Rikku pulls the door shut, but that doesn't stop us from hearing her announce, "Guys! Kairi's dating Sora!" followed by the tell-tale screams that obviously tell us that they're extremely squeaky. _

_"Well, I guess the secret's out," I shrugged, reaching a hand out. "Clothes."_

_He hands me my pile of jeans and a sweater. "I'm sorry for putting you up to this. I really wanted to surprise Riku for his birthday, and you know we've bagged on the cheerleading team for a while, and—"_

_"Sora, it's okay. I want to do this for Riku. It'd be a real kick for him to see this," I say while slipping the jeans up to my waist. "Turn."_

_"Yeah...maybe he'll start seeing a whole different side of you..." Sora says, his back facing me. I slip my sweater over my head, relieved at the immediate comfort of a not-so-tight shirt. _

_"Shut up, Sora," I say jokingly, tapping back on his shoulder. _

_He turns towards me, his blue eyes seeming to smile. "Okay," he mischievously hints. He pulls me into a kiss I remembered as one of our very first, while I just loved the feeling of Sora's arm around my back. It is brief, but worthwhile. I know there's going to be a smile and a hug after this, and I know we'll both be laughing after it, but I couldn't think it was right. It was like sharing an ice-cream with someone you really liked, but you wanted to give it to someone you really cared about. Not that I didn't love Sora, but, now that we were dating, it seemed that there was someone else I should've cared about as well._

"Follow me, towards the end of the hall," the receptionist instructed me, her voice more distant than I remembered. I find her already opening a door connecting the waiting room with the patient's rooms. I look to my mother for encouragement, but she's just sitting on one of the waiting room's chairs, waving a ominous goodbye to me. I feel like I could faint at any time, but decide against it, preparing to faint in the doctor's office on one of those comfy leather couches they usually have.

I follow the receptionist's invitation to beyond the door, still a bit anxious about having to reveal a bunch of bottled up feelings to this therapist of mine. She leads me down the carpeted hallway to one of the ajar all-glass doors, where I hear a middle-aged man scolding someone harshly.

The receptionist opens the door a little wider for me to walk into the room, where I get a first glimpse at my new therapist. He is wearing thick black glasses, probably not for reading, but for looking very professional, as he didn't care to even put them at eye level. They just rested contentedly on the crook of his nose. His informal suit is unbuttoned at the top as he seems like he is dealing with a bigger problem over the phone. "Zachary Fair, this is the last straw, I'm telling you! If I find you with that Aerith girl again, I'm taking away your car! Are we clear?"

I just stand awkwardly in front of him, taking note of the lounging black leather chair in front of the large single accompanying chair. An all-glass table sits on the side, vacant except for a single blue wave-designed tissue box. This looks like the standard therapy office people talk about on the television.

"Ah, Kairi. Have a seat, please, make yourself comfortable," the therapist acknowledged, finally cooling his temper issue. I wanted to ask what it was about, but I realized that maybe he should deal with questions, not me. I look back at the receptionist to find that she already walked off, ready to attend to other cases like mine.

I sit down on the lounge chair and pretend it's a poolside chair from one of those summer hotels, hoping to ease some of the tension swimming in my head. The therapist guy clicks his pen and jots down notes about me, probably my name along with other personality traits he may have guessed.

"Welcome, Kairi. My name is Dr. Hewley, but you may call me Angeal," the therapist says, looking up from his notepad.

"Hi, Angeal. I like your name. It sounds like, 'Angel,'" I comment, folding my hands on my lap.

"Thank you, miss. Now, tell me, in your own words..._why you are here_," he says, ready to accept all the stupid sob stories he hoped I prepared.

Well, unluckily for me, I hadn't prepared anything. I'd come here literally off the top, not really getting in touch with my feelings. My method of coping with anything was to avoid thinking of it. And with this tragedy that just happened, I wasn't thinking about it. There. Problem solved.

"I don't really know," I confidently say to him. He scribbles something down, and now, fed up with stupid commentary, I mock him in my mind by guessing what he has to say about me. _**Denial**__._

"Hm. Well, Kairi, everyone is here for a reason, and I believe you have a reason."

"...No, I don't think I have a reason..." I declare, folding my hands to rest on my lap. _**Defiant**__._

"Hmph. Well, Miss Kairi...why then, are you here?" Mr. Angeal says. I look up to him, and notice has one of those permanently strict expressions glued on his face. Those kind of guys shouldn't be therapists, in my opinion.

"Well, I had a headache and my mother decided to take me here." I lean closer to his desk, reading the nameplate on it. "And apparently, you're the wrong doctor in this case. I don't think therapists usually clear headaches." I laugh nervously, expecting him to hilariously laugh along, but he seems unmoved about it. Another scribble follows. _**Impassive**__._

Angeal looks a little fed up with my behavior. I feel like he's going to blow up like he did with that Zachary kid, and I shut out his voice for the next couple seconds. It feels like an immense pain has been lifted off my shoulders. Through the small attention I paid to Mr. Dewley's words, I listened to him say to an empty soul: "_Kairi...is it true your best friend past away, and you are blaming yourself for it?_"

There is nothing in this world more true to that statement.

Scribble Scribble.

_**Silenced**__._

_IV._

_"One, two, three, four! We're going to get the highest score! Five, six, seven, eight! We're going to rub it in your face!"_

_It was already the fourth quarter, and I was about ready to collapse from no break, lack of water, and the overweight feeling of an overall overload of cheeriness. All the girls that were accepted on the team and had decided to show up that day had one thing in common—they were beautiful. Whether they were perfectly plastic and not truly beautiful, or if they really did have beauty and probably didn't recognize it, they all were here, forced to cheer like maniac robots out for a cause—to win and, "rub it in your face."_

_The game, however, looked particularly interesting. By chance, Destiny High School was winning by at least four points. It was the first time I'd ever seen any of my friends play a game, but it was great seeing it otherwise, whether they'd win or lose._

_That Rikku girl was right. Sora was the star of the basketball team. It was totally unknown to me until now. He'd told stories about his adventures on the basketball team throughout freshman and sophomore years, though. Girls with poster boards they could've used for school projects instead used the paper to make colored and decorative signs trying to attract Sora's attention, with "_I love you, Sora!_" or, "_Aim for the sky, Sora!_" and more cheesy lines referring to the sky. Riku also had his own fan base, but he was too concerned with his game to notice the cheering support, even from me. He looked so engrossed in the game that he hardly noticed whenever someone would even try to yell out his name; much less me._

_At the turning point of the game, with a little less than sixty seconds on the clock, the team was now going into a tie with the opposing side, which, in our school, automatically would lead to a win for the last team to score in a tie. After nearly a dozen repeated rhymes and teases from our magically choreographed and timed cheer team, I felt so lightheaded, as if I'd just taken all the narcotics in the world and shoved them down my throat. I was coughing and hacking like I was choking and I felt my stomach make knots and my muscles ache a little more than before. And, I didn't know why, but I began seeing triangles sprout from the gym floor and crawl on the walls, up towards the ceiling—hallucinations were what I deemed them as. I frantically panicked, flipping through the recesses of my mind to remember if I really had taken any drugs or shot something up my vein. I couldn't recall anything, so I just labeled this as a hunger episode, which I sure hoped it was. Nothing drew more attention to anything at our school than someone fainting during a usually all well-organized event._

_"Okay, girls!" headmaster Yuna says. She gathers into what she called a "spirit circle," but it somehow turned into a spirit square, actually. "It's the last cheer, and we'll definitely win this. Let's do this girls! For our future boyfriends!" the head cheerleader announced, her annoying and piercing voice more strident than the syncopated hollers and shouts from the crowd. By this time, it was a struggle to even stand, but, I guess, I forced myself up and tried to cheer my little heart out._

_"Hey, hey, hey hey hey!" the lead Yuna called, leading her banshee team to imitate her calls. The fourteen girls that listened to her actually followed, even louder than she had yelled, but everyone, except me, ate the whole act up, like the cheerful moral support we were supposed to be. What happened to the, "_You could do it, Zack_," or the "_You'll do fine!_" support people were supposed to get by default? Something that a team didn't need to have was people that were paid (or rather given the pride and popularity) to be able to laugh and giggle and make cheery pride slogans that didn't mean an actual thing to any of them. Change is what happened to people. It always happens._

_While the Destiny High's cheerleaders shouted, my eyes followed Riku's path on the ball and the other team's movements. He had the ball in his possession, and as soon as I blinked an eye, I remembered him stopping in the near center of the court and shooting the ball towards the basket. It seemed nearly impossible for this to happen, but I distinctly remembered that sound the ball makes whenever a basket goes in: _swish_._

_The whole gym erupted in cheers, while the cheerleaders however ran onto the court where the players were all huddled and congratulating each other. I, on the other hand, took that moment to collapse right in my spot. I recall making a loud thud, and a quarter of the gym that wasn't celebrating saw my exit of consciousness._

_Now, why did I collapse that day? To this very day, I don't know. Maybe I didn't eat that much, or from the exhaustion of the cheers (yeah, right), or...maybe it was because I stayed up all last night video-chatting and IMing my two best friends Sora and Riku about our last minute project due today. I don't know the case, but I was perfectly fine when Sora, Riku, and I handed in the crap thing we pulled together the night before. As I fluttered in and out of consciousness, I felt two hands scoop me up. Instinctively, I wrapped my lifeless arms around my rescuer's neck, letting him take me out of that noisy gym. My eyes would keep on closing fully, but I remained quite awake and alive._

_When the cheers faintly died out, I debated whether or not I should be asleep or not now. "Next time..." he spoke to me. "Don't stay up all night with me and Sora."_

_"...You can't handle our twenty-four hour party madness..." a separate voice whispers to me, but the one holding me scolds him. "Shut up, Sora." One arm releases me, but I still feel myself being carried._

_"Ow, Riku, that hurts! Your right arm's the strongest, y'know!" Sora whimpers. Riku just snickers and Sora's left to pat that little side of him where Riku hit him. _

"_You should know that I did this for you, Riku," I noticeably interject, still a little apprehended by the sudden urge to eat a pizza and fall asleep at the nurses' office. Despite that, I laughed at Riku while his pace slowed a little." It's funny how you didn't even notice me on the sidelines."_

"_Are you kidding?" Riku says, and I can feel him staring down at me in confusion. "Of course I noticed you. You're the only red-head on the team…and face it Kairi, you're pretty hard to forget about." _

_I myself let a small snicker escape my mouth, but it only came out as a two second giggle. "Wow. I thought you didn't notice. Great, now I can quit the slut-squad."_

_I can hear Sora's distinct muffled laugh, and I rolled my eyes (in my head, of course) and just laughed at Sora. "I'm sorry, Kairi."_

"_No problem, Sora."_

"_You're—supposed—to…" Riku says, but I don't hear him that well. I tug on what I knew was his own silver-like hair. "Stop talking, please…just take me to the big comfy bed…"_

_And not another word comes out from them._

"Do you have anything else to say to me, Miss Kairi?" Angeal's voice says, clearing the haze I let settle in my head. I really have gone crazy if I can block out reality with flashbacks. He seems to notice, since after all, he _is _a therapist, and decided to apparently jot down a whole legal pad of notes on me and my behavior.

"No, sir. I actually don't recall saying—" I say already standing up to lead myself out.

"Oh, you said a mouthful. It's surprising how much I got out of you," Dr. Hewley says, nudging his pretend doctor glasses and acknowledging his full pad of notes. "I'll expect to see you _very _soon, Miss."

"Uhm, that is alright. I'll just…lead myself out, then."

"Ah, no, Joy will escort you." He raises his voice to not only be audible from down the hall, but also from outside the building. "_Joy, will you please escort Miss Kairi out?" _A loud answer comes from down the hall a few seconds later, yelling _"Be right there!"_

After a rather uncomfortable departure from the therapist's office, I left the waiting room with my mother, this time not blindfolded or silenced in any way. My mother doesn't struggle to ask any questions, and she certainly doesn't even cooperate with me asking for any information on her decision to turn me over to this "Dr. Angeal Hewley."

At least the headache was beginning to disappear faintly.

* * *

><p>AN

First off, I know Aqua, YRP are completely off character. You'll see why soon enough.

I had to choose if I would update OCS or SM—I chose this.

I see a couple people bothered to favorite and add it on story alert; thank you guys! But to the reviewers (lol especially you** 0Wishful-Thoughts0**), you guys are the best. Thank you for showing me your feedback. Honestly, it helps with the creativity to give feedback on anything :)

Oh and quick question: **How about an AkuRoku or SoRiku story? I'm seriously up for one, but it won't be anything too bad like full-on yaoi or sex scenes, it's gonna be purely about pride in their relationship. **_Details on my profile._

So, I'm going to Las Vegas on Monday, and I cannot update anything until Saturday/Sunday. Sigh. Thanks for reading this chapter; I'm sorry if it confuses you a bit, you'll eventually get it! I'd love if you reviewed and submitted feedback! Thank you! Sorry if it was a bit short! - CupcakeLerman / Alyssa

Oh and guess who's turning their childhood into the next direction on Thursday? She's also going to lose her childhood on Friday at the movie theaters—twice. Winnie the Pooh + Harry Potter 7 Part 2 = Best childhood ever lived. 19 YEARS. :"0


	3. Put on a Sora Face

**On Crystal Sand  
><strong>Chapter 3 - Put On a Sora-Face

When I said my mother didn't push and pry for information from me about the therapy session, there was a whole other reason as to why she kept quiet the first five minutes of the car ride. Through what I thought was my mother being sensibly reliable and deeming herself a worthy adversary, she somehow took the time to collect all the silence between us and made the biggest discomfort I felt today, and that was a _huge _accomplishment.

She still had her eyes focused on the road, and when she finally hit a red light, she soothed her grip on the steering wheel, but was still clearly tense. "So...are you and Sora still friends?"

I sarcastically laughed, taunting the subject of Sora. "Mom, if I were to change my relationship status from 'in a relationship' to 'single' on Facebook, would that answer your question?"

My mom grips the steering wheel a little harder again and shakes her head slowly, her red curls still finding their way on her shoulders. "You can't have a Facebook on Destiny Islands."

"I know," I said, shrugging my shoulders. "How am I supposed to say that in one week, we had my best friend buried, my boyfriend left me, and I have a huge base of haters?"

"Kairi, you are not alone," she tried convincing me. "You have me...Xion, Olet—"

"Nah..." I mumbled and turned to the rear-view mirror. "They hate me too."

"Oh," she replied and I could tell she wasn't trying to look at me anymore. Commence silence and the transition into a green light.

It wasn't that bad, sitting there passing at least three traffic lights quietly. More of a comfortable one, because I was now allowed to stick my head halfway out the window, something I'd love to do since I was younger. I rolled down the window and quickly let the breeze close my eyes. The wind lapped through my hair, tugging each strand of hair to come fly in the breeze. I didn't mind the stares from all the other drivers, but I just let it slide. Ah, how wonderful it felt. Just the feeling of sunlight pour onto my face made my eyes close in pleasure and to soak in the moment.

I suddenly steadily realized that it was the first time I did not think of Sora or Riku in a long time. This wasn't what I expected, since everything I did reminded me of the two—see, I just came back from _therapy _because of it, and I don't think these sessions will work, to be honest.

I think all these inside feelings were only given to me to blame for self-inflicting them to myself. If I were to stop _talking _to myself when I'm alone or stop worrying so much about Riku, I wouldn't need therapy. If I wanted to hurt myself every day my thinking about him, then wouldn't I just be a masochist, or perhaps, someone with extreme low esteem?

Maybe I did have some hidden psychological disorder. Would it even _matter _if I did? Could I not just be a normal human-being that could lean her head out to bathe in the sun and feel the wind race through her ears? In a world where things that weren't all that accepting of the wrong, I couldn't have been able to. I guess my goal now was to convince everyone that I was not, and never was, "psychologically disabled."

I couldn't stick my head out of the window for the rest of my life. At the next red light, some cynical old lady with a low sense of humor and a cross face yelled over at me from the next traffic lane for me to close my window up and stick my head back inside, even though I only hung out a part of my head to glance at the sun. I let into her demands and retreated into the car, afterwards turning the air conditioning on at full-blast.

"Hey, turn it off, it's not even that hot," my mother protested.

"Mom, I can't. I'm sorry," I replied and leaned back into my chair, reclining it a little. When the traffic light turned yellow on the other street, I peered out the window again, staring at the old woman. She sat, both her hands forcefully clasped onto the steering wheel and her eyes like spears, shooting them out at the street in front of me. She saw me staring, and she seemed to want to shoot a real spear at me. _Old people that had angry childhoods tended to be unhappy adults, _I observed.

That's why I did the best and worst thing I have ever done to disrespect someone. It was childish, but she really seemed to get her beans together if she wanted people to like her. That's why I took my palms and pressed them on my cheeks which were cheeky enough so I could press them together against my face. In my childish sense, I crossed my eyes together to mock her, something I could remember from something I'd seen before. I could tell that when I uncrossed my eyes, she was in a rage. She looked like she was ready to open her door and I quickly panicked.

"Mom!" I yelled. "Go! Go! Go!" I waved her on.

She pushed the pedal hard, unaware of my childish antics. The light wasn't even completely green when she was already past it and going at least fifty miles an hour. I turned back to look at that stern old lady, but all I saw was her own old model car slowly dwindle past traffic. I leaned back into my chair and sighed in relief.

"What did you do this time?" my mom interrogated. She didn't sound mad, but more of wanting to know what kind of prank I pulled.

Somehow, that whole episode made me forget that I had banned some words in my vocabulary. "A Sora face," I said freely, and my mother nodded, somewhat confused at my behavior. I just cracked a smile, but at the same time my expression became hard when I realized I'd lifted the ban on words.

It hadn't been more than ten minutes before I thought of both of them again. It had been so long since I'd seen a smile on both their faces. They had a habit to smile at the worst times, and keep a frown or confused look on their faces at the inverse. _Why_, I probably would never know.

My mother's speed decreased a bit to a more stable point, and I leaned even farther back into the chair. The sky was blinding with the big 'ol sun it hung above us with dwindling clouds swimming with the current. I watched the blinking lights of airplanes, not even bothering to pretend they were shooting stars, when I made a wish. Something that I knew was somewhere stuck in my heart where I couldn't pull it out for the therapist or anyone perhaps. The lights blinked around the fluff of clouds and later disappeared into them along the way. By that time, I had already wished for three things. Could I take them back someday; _I'd love to wish for that_.

One: I wish I'd never remember that _face_.

Two: I wish I could undo all the mistakes I've made in the past that have come with all the costly consequences.

Three: I wish that I never came to these islands.

_V_.

_It is the eve of the first championship game the school basketball team had managed to snatch. After hard work and determination by both Sora and Riku, they had pulled the team into one of the first championships the school has ever landed._

_"This is great!" another athlete from our school, Tidus, announced while pouring a drink for everyone he invited to celebrate their new challenge at his house. Of course, I was still on the cheering squad, so I was humbly invited, but I didn't call myself a full-fledged member. After all, I didn't even go to the practices every Thursday after school._

_Tidus was a well-developed friend of Sora's that wasn't even on the basketball team, but more of their stage manager. He played baseball, but not on the team, and blitzball, on a team. From past experience, he seemed like a good guy, and I knew he had a soft spot for the captain of the cheer squad, Yuna. How he could like someone like her, I didn't know._

_"Finally—" he said while taking a sip of his drink. "—Destiny High can finally have a champion on their shoulders. And for once—it's not me!"_

_Sora laughed along and warily sipped his own drink. "Don't get too cocky, Tidus, it might kill you..." he said mockingly. I took a swing of my own cup, and the contents not only made me want to throw the cup out, but I felt like I needed more of it. I was now debating whether or not I should ask Sora for anymore._

_Meanwhile, Riku leaned over to me on the other side of the table where I was sitting and whispered to me. "_

_Hey," he said with a real suave face and a voice to match. "Wanna ditch this Popsicle stand?"_

_I shrugged and nodded my head. "Alright, as long as you don't plan to molest me, Riku," I teased._

_He snickered, saying, "You want me to...?"_

_"You wish," I joked while I took Riku's hand and pulled him towards the patio outdoors. No one noticed when I pulled the back door open and breathed in fresh air. Tidus' house came with a cute little patio that opened into his backyard. It surprised me, because I saw all sorts of flowers on the patio and on the lawn. Tidus' dad wasn't home frequently (hence the house party) and Tidus didn't seem to be the flower-type guy._

_"Tidus plants them," Riku told me while I stared at the near forest of life. "He told me that it reminded him of his mom."_

_My mouth formed a wide 'oh' shape and I walked closer towards the edge of the patio. Everyone knew who Tidus' mom was. She was once a regular member of the school committee, and everyone knew her as the woman that allowed non-gender discriminating lunch tables and convinced the school president social events and interaction with others. She was also well-known as a party animal herself, quoted from Tidus and his dad._

_But a week before the championship and this house party, she disappeared from home. I remembered the time when Tidus came running frantically to almost every house on the block asking where she was—before he came to my own house._

_When he showed up on my door step panting and exhausted, I couldn't just leave him by himself, so I let him stay over at my house that night. He still seemed pretty shaken, because he never imagined his mom leaving him and his dad. Also with the fact that Tidus' dad was away and Tidus was pretty reckless by himself, I gave him the spare bedroom for the night._

_"He's still looking around for her?" I asked._

_"Yeah. He can't really accept the fact that she isn't home on a daily basis. Not many people seem kept in the loop that she's missing."_

_I didn't ask anything after that. I just looked away from Riku and admired some of the flowers that I knew Tidus cherished. Even in the dim lighting, I spied the evident glimmer given off the leaves of each plant that told me that someone had just so recently watered and nurtured the plants._

_I didn't hear Riku move at all, nor could I see his face, but I could hear his slowed and steady breath escaping his mouth. I found myself mimicking him secretly, breathing in and out my mouth, something I found surprisingly calming to do. It was hard to remember the pattern because even from the outside, I could hear Sora popping open another bottle of happy juice and spraying it around him; I could tell from the shouts and hollers._

_"Maybe we should leave now..." I encouraged Riku, grabbing his arm and trying to tow him back inside the house to retrieve Sora. But Riku stuck himself to the ground, and being the less superior one, I let go of him, confused at Riku's sudden nature._

_Before I could approach him, he spoke quickly, a different tempo from his slow and steady composure. "How can he celebrate like that...when there's a chance we could lose the championships in one second—one screw-up?"_

_"Riku, if you've gotten this far, I'm sure you can make it past this. Basketball—it's part of your nature...and—"_

_"You're right, I'm sorry," he hastily concluded. He sighed again and sort of pushed some of his hair aside from his face. Despite his calm face, I could tell he was still distressed. I wanted to tell him more, but I didn't think it was so necessary at the time. I let my sentence escape my thoughts._

_"Let's get Sora before he gives body shots," I said, recalling some past events that could make anyone who knew Sora shudder. "Don't want him to get another nasty bruise."_

_It looked like Riku nodded, so I made my way back to the back door, not knowing that he hadn't moved from his spot at all. I almost forgot about him, until he finally whispered in a barely audible voice._

_"Kairi," he said. I remembered that Riku was still standing behind me, and I didn't think he was whispering to himself, so I turned to face him again. I could still see his clear blue eyes reflect even the dim porch lighting to illuminate them further, into a deep and light jade color._

_"Um...yes?" I answered slowly. Never had I truly seen Riku's eyes that color, or even stared this deep into his gaze. It didn't scare me that much, but I was amazed that I hadn't noticed it yet._

_But that wasn't the most surprising thing that occurred that night._

_"You and Sora..." he started, his eyes losing the sheen of emerald and dissolving into a clearer and pale blue. To my surprise, I didn't want it to suddenly disappear; I ran willingly towards him, where he took both of his arms and wrapped them around me. The warmth was enough to keep me sane, and I don't even remember most of the words he would mumble._

_That was when I became fascinated with who Riku was. His eyes, his warmth, his everything captivated me. My infatuation with him brought me closer than I'd ever been to the edge, and I didn't want to back away at the second._

_That's when I touched my lips to his._

_This had to be the very first time I felt completely close to Riku. I felt that maybe he may have been more capable of a healthy relationship than Sora. It was an experience that was natural to me, and I trusted Riku now more than I had before._

_But Riku wasn't moving at all. Not his hands, not his lips—he did remove his arms from around me—but he tried pushing me off of him. I stepped back quickly, a little bit of realization coming back to remind me that I couldn't just go around kissing people._

_"Uh..." I tried saying, and Riku seemed at a loss of words as well. He developed strawberry-colored cheeks that he tried covering with his hands, while I just turned away from him. I felt bad that I cut off his sentence, and that I had surprised him._

_After all, I shouldn't have kissed him._

**- —- - - - **

I knew wishing on a shooting star, or at least _pretending _to, would never work. "They don't even work in fairy tales," I told myself when I woke up. We were in my driveway, the car coming to a stationary stop, and my mom was already unbuckling her seatbelt. She tried reaching over to take my bag, but I beat her to it. I unbuckled mine and already had the door open when I took my bag and slung it over my left shoulder and slammed the door shut.

I reached into my pocket and pulled my keys out, not bothering to look at most of them, and took the one key that I needed and walked up the steps to the front door. I made a mental note to sweep the porch deck when I had the chance to and dry the chair cushions out in the sun. The key finally let me in, and I left the door open while I took a banana off the kitchen counter and jogged up the short flight of stairs.

"Kairi, do you want food?" I heard my mom try to yell to me from the bottom of the stairs. I yelled back a muffled reply that was similar to a "_no_" and closed my bedroom door before collapsing onto my bed. The nostalgia wall came to haunt me again at that very moment.

The banana lay unpeeled as I dropped it onto the floor. I pushed my bag off with my feet as well, and soon, my bed was empty, save for my sheets. From down on my bed, I could see this one photo of Sora, Riku, and I all doing the "Sora face." That was the first thing my eyes dawned upon.

"_I shouldn't have memorized each and every picture's location, huh?_" I muttered to myself. I watched as the Polaroid of three faces posed in a stupid expression did nothing but mock me slowly, so I just ended up looking away. More stills of pictures of myself and a bunch of others were in front of me, all with varying attires, expressions, lightning, and mood. No matter what, not all of them could please me, and the only solution I had besides tearing all them down were ignoring them. Not once in my life have I ever been requires to overlook over fifty memories from my life; I knew the only thing I could do about it was go along with it.

_VI_.  
><em><br>"Kairi, you're gonna help me…" Sora said frantically, tugging on his basketball uniform nervously. The loud-speaker's voice rang over the intercom paging for the last two members to "hurry onto the court already!"_

_Sora took my hand and literally dragged me towards the locker rooms. I let him, to be honest, but I didn't have the urge to see Riku right now. He'd probably have a fit on why I kissed him the night before. But one question begged to be answered since this morning—Why didn't he tell Sora?_

_"Well, Sora, I can walk!" I protested, but he refused to let go. His grip was kind of tight, and I had to fight not to disarm him from me. I didn't like to be dragged places, so I just complained furiously on the way there._

_A clear-plated sign hung outside the locker room, with bold words stressing "TEAM AND COACH ONLY." I tried pointing the sign out to him, but he didn't notice; he kind of just grunted at it in disagreement and forced the door open. There were a bunch of lockers all around these couple of benches, one of which a towel hung off of. Riku was sitting there too, a towel hanging around his neck, and he looked frustrated._

_"Riku!" Sora yelled, kind of stridently, so Riku couldn't even be able to not hear him. I stumbled behind him, and that was when Sora decided to let go of my wrists. I didn't rub them, but I did eye Sora suspiciously. He had a look of discontent that was misplaced on his face. His arms were crossed, and he spoke urgently._

_"Riku," he said angrily. "I don't know what problems you're going through, but can you please pull it together for this game?"_

_"I don't know, Sora, with your confidence level I'm sure you can win this game all by yourself," Riku muttered under his breath. He wiped at his brow._

_"What was that?" Sora yelled irritably. I could tell Sora was mad—and I mean mad. I kept myself quiet, but it hurt a little to watch Riku and Sora quarrel like that._

_"You heard me, spike," Riku said, his eyes glowering at Sora. A dark smirk pasted itself on Riku's expression; something I didn't want to see._

_"Why don't you shut up, silk," Sora countered, his usual animated fixture completely toppled over at this point._

_"Hey, can you stop it, both of you?" I said amidst all the tension in the room. It took all the gut I had to come up with these words, and now that I had them, I might've just went on._

_Sora and Riku finally gave their attention to me. "You know what you guys are holding up there?" I pointed towards the locker room door, knowing that beyond that was a gymnasium filled with waiting people. "A team. One that is supposed to stay together. Now I know you're not a team—you're a pair. Not only of teammates, but of friends. Now, stop quarreling and go out there. Now."_

_I finished my stern talk to face un wavered expressions from both of them. I could hear the hollers of discontent all the way from the gym that it made my blood boil with agitation. Ignoring Sora's annoyed pleas, I grabbed Riku by the wrist, kind of how Sora did to me, and lead him out the locker room. Luckily, we were alone, so I took that time to pull him out the hallway and into the hall leading to the gym. Riku put up a good struggle on the way, and I wouldn't be surprised if I had bruises after that._

_I stopped on the corner where the doors would be for the gym. Riku pulled away, and I just watched as he cringed down to catch his breath. "You have a crazy grip, Kairi."_

_"What's up? This is the strangest I've ever seen you as. Why? I have no idea. You tell me."_

_Riku stopped rubbing his wrist. He went back to his original stance where he stood towering a bit over me. But despite his mature looks and attitude, only I was able to tell that something was deeply wrong with him. I didn't think he'd actually start talking to me again, but he actually did, and it wasn't all that I expected._

_"I don't know how to face them. I've told you before. I don't know if I can perform under pressure. Basically..." Riku said, "...I don't think I should perform anymore."_

_"Are you telling me..." I slowly said. "You're quitting the team now because of stage fri—"_

_"Shh!" he said, placing his hand in front of my face. "It's ridiculous, and I don't even know how to deal with this."_

_I sighed in defeat as I heard the disappointment from the crowd in the gym grow louder, and calls for Sora and Riku grow in persistence. Now that I fully understood that Riku wouldn't let this go, I didn't know what I should've done: let him have his way, or force him into the crowd like he'd been before. Riku mostly paced around, hoping no one would come looking for us in the halls._

_Thankfully, I didn't waste any time thinking of a strategy. "Listen, Riku," I said nonchalantly. "You're going to play today."_

_"What?" he said in disbelief. He totally thought I'd be on board with him ditching the championships. "Didn't you just hear me? I'm not going out there. No."_

_"Riku! You have to—" I said, but I came to realization that I didn't even have a reason. A part of me couldn't deny that I could force this upon him, but I knew I had to encourage him somehow._

_Riku seemed even more frustrated now. "Kairi...I don't think you've noticed, but I'm freaking...losing it. I can't face anyone now, I can't deal with everything—how am I supposed to face everyone?"_

_"I don't know?—Like this?" I said. I squished my cheeks together in an idiotic position and crossed my eyes together, furious at the whole idea of it at first. But at this point I was frustrated myself. I began thinking it wasn't such a good idea to force him there, but something told me that he couldn't let his selfishness get to him. I'd seen him play, and he isn't the type to have stage fright. _

_I didn't even let him talk. "Look, Riku, you're going to go out there...play...and then go home," I explained. "Just...don't give up on everyone."_

_I didn't love just pouring my words out like that, but the fact that I also had to hurry out and be a cheerleader again and that someone was going to look for us again made me try to talk as fast as I could. That's when a loud bang came from the other corner of the hallway leading to the locker room. I heard a couple of punches to the floor and muffled breathing...like someone was...laughing...at me._

_"SORA!" I remember yelling as I saw his figure collapsed in all-out laughter appear from behind the corner. "WHAT—WHY ARE YOU HERE?" _

_He kept laughing continuously before I even heard Riku start cracking up. "Why...WHY ARE YOU LAUGHING TOO?" I screamed towards Riku, a deep red blush continually creeping around my cheeks. They both were now doubled over in laughter, and I was in complete shock._

_"That's the—" Sora finally said, still on the floor. "Funniest face—" He slowly got up. "—I've ever seen from you, Kairi!"_

_I was still speechless as Sora approached us breathless and covered in floor dirt. Riku was gripping at his sides in pain, almost ready to pass out. Sora pulled me into a close hug, and I could still feel him laughing while he held me close. _

_"Oh...you are hilarious, Kairi," he said while he helped Riku up. "That's forever the first time you acted a lot like me..."_

_Riku finally spoke up in a tone that sounded like he'd gotten over his stage fright. "Yeah. That's a classic 'Sora' face. I didn't—" he paused to cough, somehow making me more embarrassed as he spoke. "—expect that from you."_

_"Well..." I tried explaining. Both of them were grinning cheekily, and I could tell they both got a kick out of it. I didn't even think it'd be that funny. _

_"Don't," Sora interrupted. "You've said enough. I'll see you guys outside soon, right?"_

_I smiled again in what seemed like a long time and nodded my head. He waved to me and Riku with his eyes crossed in some sort of mock tribute before pushing open the gym door to greet the screaming and cheering people in the gym. _

_I heaved a long sigh, and I felt my entire body release a huge amount of a relief. "You okay now, Riku?" I asked, finally reassured that my job had been well done._

_He nodded, a smile occupying his face. I hoped it would stay there longer; to become a permanent occurrence instead of something that we all hardly saw. _

_"Smile more," I found myself saying. "It looks good on you."_

_I should've said that more and more throughout his life, because I didn't know that maybe this was the last time I could've told him. _

_But that was when his lips touched mine._

_And this time I found myself not doing anything at all._

_Almost like I—_

_—was okay with it._

_"_You and Sora are great partners_."_

- —- - - -

Telling stories to myself helps me sleep at night, even if they're enough to cause a bad dream. As I whispered those words to myself, some in a lower tone, some in a guiltier mood, I imagined the stupid things I could've reversed during those times. And to think, that it was all that that ruined something as beautiful as a friendship.

It was unforgivable to have done that. Well, it was more actually stupid of a decision to do what I did in the first place. Which brings me back to the point that—It is all my fault.

This would be a lot to tell to my therapist.

- —- - - -

"Hi."

"..."

_This isn't happening._

"...Kairi?"

"Yeah, mom?"

"Who is it?"

"...It's Sora."

"Hi, Kairi's mom."

"Hi, Sora! Want to stay for dinner?"

"Actually..."

"No, he can't, mom, please—"

"No, of course not, he can stay over for dinner."

"Actually, no, I already ate—"

"No, no, you're a part of the family, come in. I'll just be right back."

_Actually, mom, he kind of left the family, if you haven't noticed._

"...Okay, Kairi's mom."

"No, no, I'd rather you just—what's in the bag?"

"Oh...a PlayStation 3."

"You're...giving me a PS3?"

"No, dimwit."

"..."

"I brought it, because we're going to watch the movie tonight."

"Ice-skating?"

"Yeah."

"Why?"

"Didn't you check your e-mail?"

_I was at therapy all day, dimwit._

"...No."

"Mr. Valentine's requesting pre-presentation tomorrow."

"...Damn."

"Let me in, I might catch a cold."

"Idiot, it's not even cold."

"Shut up, it's warmer here."

* * *

><p>(Long story short...I got sick two days ago, lost two versions of this story therefore had to rewrite everything, came back from the west coast w jetlag, "welcome back to college parties," college stuff, and end-of-the-summer things to do.

Oh and I did not rush the last part. Kind of gives it a caught-off-guard surprise feel. Joy = Pokemon (;


	4. Net Flicks, Ice Skating, and Sora

** On Crystal Sand.**  
><strong>Chapter 4 - Net Flicks, Ice-Skating, and Sora<strong>

Like all the awkward dinners I have been through, I shoveled all my food to the side while I watched everyone else pretend they were hungry or looking for a conversation. Apparently, it had been only a few meager days since we all last saw each other, and of course, my mom and dad pretended to forget about that. Mom was all happy and smiles at that point, asking where Sora planned on going to school in the future while my dad just ate his dinner.

"Destinium University," he replied, still kind of looking over what we forked over to him; grilled chicken and broccoli with a side of jack-fruit we found at a oriental market...all leftovers.

"Oh, that's where Kairi wanted to go!" my mom enthusiastically cheered. "Especially since she joined the cheerleading squad."

"Uhm," I interrupted, actually annoyed that this time I actually had an interest in the broccoli. "-_quit_."

I tossed my spoon aside in frustration on my plate and continued eating with just my fork. That was my mistake, of course, because I just realized I had to eat some of the dry rice we had from last night. Meanwhile, there was an eerie silence as everyone's spoons and forks clicked and clanked against all their plates. Sora, I noticed, was now taking this opportunity to shovel a bunch of rice into his mouth with his spoon, making a bunch of signals that I immediately picked up on. What a douche he was being.

I continually forked broccoli and bits of rice into my mouth while listening to whatever conversation my mom casually tossed to Sora. Sora would nod, but sometimes he'd shake his head. But he never answered her questions with his voice. My mom didn't seem to notice, and she kept pestering him with questions. She even asked if he knew what was wrong with me, like if there was something going on at school...

Before Sora even looked like he was going to speak, I interrupted impolitely.

"Mom, nice job talking about me at the dinner table with me at it," I reminded her sarcastically while I eyed Sora just picking at his jack-fruit, somehow relishing this conversation from the looks on his face.

"I was just asking..." my mom casually apologized. I could see she was finished with her plate, and I had somehow finished mine as well, so I stood up and stacked my plate on top of hers, taking it over to the sink myself. I stomped quietly the entire time I was going there.

"Oh, thanks, Kairi. So, Sora, how are—" I stacked my stack on top of Sora's plate mid-sentence and dragged it over to the sink and turned on the faucet at full blast. The stream rinsed over the plates quickly before I shut it off and wiped my hands on a rag. My mom sort of watched me with a kind of flabbergasted expression that just made me fueled with excitement in causing trouble towards her. What could I say, I was kind of angry at her. Basically, anyone that spoke to enemy territory was considering enemy territory themselves, and I couldn't take back any stragglers. Man, were my hormones raging out of control today.

The last thing I did in her presence was leave the kitchen very positively. On my way up to my bedroom, I took the paper bag that Sora had brought and tugged it up the stairs, and I could tell Sora was going to follow when I heard him apologizing to my mom. Good thing I didn't have to really talk to him.

Halfway up the stairs, Sora had already caught up behind me and was already climbing up the steps. I sort of feared he'd try to stop me by grabbing my wrist, but I knew he wouldn't do something like that. After all, he despised me, right? He tagged along quietly until we reached my room, which was one of the last doors in the hallway, nearest to the window. I pushed open the door, quietly cursed myself for not cleaning up that much, and waited for Sora to walk in before I shut the door.

Sora looked around my room with wide eyes before he took off his sweater, exposing the white short-sleeve shirt he wore often times. I scolded him silently for blaming me that he was cold outside.

"That's why you'll catch a cold. You're wearing just that," I complained silently. It was sort of to myself, but I could tell Sora was listening in on me.

"_Whatever_," he said simply.

I rolled my eyes way up into the back of my head, held it long enough for Sora to notice, and sat back in front of the paper bag that encased the console. I proceeded in taking out all the wires on the console and trying to find the correct color-coded set that corresponded with this one and this one...

"Ah—hey, lemme do that," Sora said, already holding out his hands, expecting me to just drop the wires back for him. Of course, I didn't let up, arrogant as I was. I tucked a loose strand of hair behind my ear and continued plugging in the red cable, and then the white...

Sora grabbed my arm forcefully and said loudly, "Hey, don't do it like that!"

"Hey! Hey, stop, I can do this perfectly fine by myself," I protested loudly, reclaiming possession of my wrist. He scrunched his eyebrows and sat back on a chair, watching me the rest of the time plugging in tedious wires and outlets being hooked up. Once in a while, Sora would loudly cough and ruffle through his hair, telling me he was really annoyed with all my mistakes. I shrugged him off and just did my own business. It hadn't been that long from when I had last done this.

After all the wires were back in their correct places and I was beginning to get pretty embarrassed with myself being watched, I sat back in appreciation. It was actually the first time I had done the whole thing on my own. I heard Sora leave the chair, and he approached the paper bag, taking out one controller. I almost asked him why he had only brought one controller, but I almost forgot. There was another one in there, but it wasn't like we were playing a game together or anything. Tonight was just a movie. As _classmates_.

It was stifling hot in there, and I could almost feel the prickly feeling of heat creeping along my skin. I merely waved it away, and just acted as normal as I could. Weird thing was, none of us even spoke, not even coughed, while Sora put the finishing touches on the PlayStation. I eyed the little sticker on the controller he brought of an anime-rendition star complete with anime eyes, one that was beginning to become slightly faded. _I still have those stickers._ One is stuck to my wall. I didn't tell Sora, though.

I was too preoccupied staring at that star-shaped sticker that I hadn't realized Sora had been looking around my room a lot more. He didn't even acknowledge to me that he was; he more of just grunted whenever he saw a picture on my wall. I took notice, personally.

"You thought I would take them down..." I muttered unpleasantly.

"_Hmph_," he said with distaste.

"Is that all you're gonna say?" I asked, a little confused on what he really thought. I knew I was asking for too much when I said it, but it was a question that was really bugging me; I had to know for some reason. It was probably because I still had the instinct to worry about him; something I had to try and fix.

Not that I was particularly paying attention, but I saw that he had stopped talking or grunting all together. I didn't wait for him to regain consciousness; I snatched the controller out of his limp hands and just pointed myself to the right direction on the screen. A red background with the company's logo superimposed on top popped onto the screen, and I waited long enough for it to load. I pinched my forehead in agitation, a mild headache beginning to take shape.

I was about to start searching for the movie, meticulously pressing the buttons in good order, but I saw that Sora was a lot more frozen than the screen looked after I hit '_search_.' He was still in front of a cluster of pictures, and all he did was stare.

"Sora." I tried prying his attention back to the screen for just a second, but he didn't notice. I was actually beginning to care because I didn't like how we had to get cracking on this assignment. If he really liked ignoring me, then why did he decide to show up at my house at near nine o' clock to do this project? I bet he would've been _fine_ with letting me take the failing grade on my part.

Without making too much noise, I stood up from my seat and walked right up behind him, close enough to hear his breath. I _watched_ as he _watched_ and I _watched_ for longer than I thought. Nothing was what he stared at; a blank spot on the wall that was surrounded by photos and drawings. Just one single rectangle left out from the equation—one that I had intended to subtract from the problem. I didn't even remember what used to be there.

Sora lifted his hand and felt the empty space left behind. I could feel the warmth emanating from that spot, and I had no intentions of letting Sora know. He knew what used to be there, even if I didn't, and I knew he wouldn't let me know that he knew.

I was having an even larger headache now. I didn't even wait for Sora to come back to his senses; if he wanted to stare at a wall all night, fine. But I was going to be the one explaining the project and receiving the A, not him. I hit the "_Watch_" button, and waited a while longer.

"You want popcorn?" I asked skeptically, still wondering if Sora could even hear me. He nodded his head slightly, a little quickly, but I couldn't comprehend his decision. So, I got up, and decided to make myself popcorn, and to retrieve an Advil from the medicine cabinet. I certainly needed it now.

Downstairs, no one was around and the television was off. It was odd for a weekday night like this. Not a creak was heard in the hallways or rooms, so I assumed that everyone had left. Apparently, I guess my mother was trying to get me to fix my feelings with Sora. _Or_, she was outside my window right now, trying to see if I was going to do anything fishy with Sora. After all, I was acting twice as odd as people thought I was. Of course, maybe it was just me thinking that.

"_Food for thought_," I muttered four minutes later when I grabbed the overheated and inflated bag of popcorn from the microwave. I shook my hands a bit and jiggled the bag around to distribute all the seasonings on the popped kernels. I ripped open the bag while walking up the steps and swallowed down the small pill I picked up from the medicine cabinet. There wasn't much relief, but that was expected.

I didn't try to talk to Sora when I walked in. He was now sitting on the floor in front of the television set, his hands curled in a little ball folded on his lap. I almost ignored his presence and took a seat on my bed. The opening scenes were beginning to play, and I had dimmed down the spotlights so I could concentrate less on Sora and more on the movie. He was acting a bit more listless than I had usually seen him as, and it was enough to tear my attention away from the movie for just one second.

"Hey, are you—"

At that moment he wrinkled his nose and sniffled loudly. That one instant where it all happened resounded in my head, and I couldn't shake the feeling away. The popcorn had grown to taste insipid at this point, and I felt an eerie shiver course through my body as I just sat there, neither observing nor ignoring, while nothing happened at all. For once, it did not seem like an instinct to cheer him up; instead, I wanted to play aloof and continue watching, as one oblivious classmate would have done with a total stranger from their class.

It was tearing away at me; the fact of leaving Sora to slowly beat on himself with his steady sniffles while I pretended to not care was horrible, and I never imagined our friendship to dwindle to this. _What kind of person was I?_

Based on the fact that I remained silent and obsolete the entire time, attempting to concentrate solely on the screen, nibbling on popcorn I didn't think would taste so salty..._I was a horrible one at that._

_VII._

Over the course of my life, I've told multiple lies. Those lies got me in deep trouble, or sometimes it would get me out of deep trouble. Most of the time, it was out of selfish gain, but today, it wasn't of anything like that. I had lied to Sora initially, and to myself in the long run, that I had forgotten what this movie was about. It was, and still is, actually one of my favorite movies ever. I admired everything I never had, and one of those was really talent. I had nothing to prove myself as, and that was why I found it a bit hard to make friends. No one would like me for my looks, or my smile, or my personality—except for Sora and his friends.

It is kind of vague how I had met him initially. I do know that I met them on the islands, and we played games together, but really, I don't remember how it all started. Believe it or not, some neighbors never get to know each other after years of sharing mutual living-space. It isn't unsociable or anything, in my own opinion, but I really believe it had to do with the fate that I was destined to come to Destiny Islands and meet Sora. My mother pushed me to his house at one point, and after sour introductions and piercing stares, and we ran around the exterior of his house in a game of tag, I think. Nothing is certain, really.

One thing I do remember from my early days with Sora were the common secret hiding places in the Destiny Islands' homes. They were in Sora's house, and also in mine, and we had tested them in every house we had been in, including Riku's and his cousin's. By that we deducted that all the houses on Destiny Islands were built at the same time, most likely by the same group of people. Sora would blush whenever his parents would bring it up, saying that it had helped them discover more storage rooms. However, I kept my discovery a secret from the rest of the people I knew.

I didn't treasure anything more than my sanctuaries. This specific one was actually the designated meeting place for Sora and me. In my house, it was in a cramped little closet, one that was too small to be used for coats and clothes, but big enough for me and Sora to jump up and reach the trapdoor hinges, no doubt. We helped each other up, our arms aching from the growing weight every year, and pretty soon, we were in a small cupboard-like space that was cute when we were small and tiny.

"This place is too small!" Sora began to complain. I noticed how the hiding space had looked like it had shrunk.

"No, we're just getting a lot bigger," I would mutter. I would swat the dust away from my floral dress, my sandals edging in on the wooden floor.

Sora tapped his chin questioningly, rolling his eyes a bit and hummed. After quiet thought, he yelled in a hush, "Just sit on my lap, I have to ask you something important!"

I immediately stepped back,or rather, slid back, and looked at him skeptically. "What?" I yelled in complete shock. "I don't need to sit on your lap!"

"But...I have to tell you something!" Sora almost wailed, and I felt the air heating up around me, but I had a feeling it wasn't just me. "No, Sora!" I said, embarrassed by how he was acting. "I'm leaving." I opened the trap door and dangled my feet a bit. I could feel the few inches I had to jump getting nearer and nearer just by dangling my feet, but I stopped before I jumped down. I turned to Sora, who was now as quiet as a rock, and looked at his serene eyes. I tried not to notice it, but in the dark, I saw the light in his eyes truly shine, a small little flicker I didn't think I would be able to see. His cheeks were red, and his lips formed a straight line, and I could see all of this in complete _darkness_.

We were fourteen at the time; that would be the last time I had met with Sora in the secret place.

**XXX**

To be completely honest, I had totally forgotten about Sora being there. I had even completely overlooked the fact that there was a movie playing. I had been so exhausted by this morning, and this afternoon, and now, this evening, the one time I needed quiet, was now decidedly '_Show-Up-At-Kairi's-House_' Day. Sora wouldn't notice if I passed out for a couple minutes...

Needless to say, those minutes were heavenly. I remembered the time when I was actually happy with myself and the way I was, and when I wasn't seeing a therapist for my issues. People liked me; or at least they pretended to. This room wasn't filled with mementos of a placid early life, but the times of a happy kid, some adventures that were still continuing today. I saw the future as bright.

"_Sora..._" I would mindlessly mutter. He was what made everything great. It wasn't surprising when I found myself being shaken alive from my slumber, two hands gripping my shoulders, slowly bringing my body closer and closer until—

"_Kairi_...?" It had been a long time since I had heard him say my name without hatred, or any negative emotion at all. The very words shivered me, because they had suddenly become to sound so foreign to me; I would've slapped him if I hadn't stopped myself.

"_Kairi_...I'm leaving now," I heard his voice say. My eyes fluttered open slowly, and I saw those dark blue eyes hovering over me, a sort of bored expression coming across them. I was aware that he was gripping my shoulders, so I knew he had heard me call to him. But it looked to him that he just wanted to go home now and get away from me, from the look on his face. I sat up in bed, his arms coming back at his side, and I saw that he had already packed up his stuff and was already getting his coat on. I felt embarrassed about the fact that Sora had to do that all by himself, and that I'd probably wouldn't remember half the stuff tomorrow.

"How...how was the movie?" I asked him curiously but slowly. I don't want to make myself look too..._bad_.

He checked his bag to see if he had everything. "Great. Would've been awesome if you'd have watched it." He sharply noted, his sarcasm apparent. I flinched a bit, slowly sinking into my propped-up pillows. My legs were pretty warm, and I'm sure my face was too.

Sora made his way to the door, shouldering his backpack too, and twisted the knob firmly. I could hear the slight hesitation when he opened the door. He had something to say to me, and that's what I had ultimately dreaded the most. I shivered; this was truly intervention time.

_I waited. He waited._

I've never stared at the back of his head for so long. I didn't know what to say. I wanted to let him speak, really, but I couldn't waste any more time. I got up on my own will-power and struggled to muster enough courage for me to say what I had to.

Before I could even stand up to my fears, I was overwhelmed. Sora was breathing to himself, like he had done earlier, and he looked like he was tired. I don't think he was as physically tired, as he was mentally tired. I could tell, he was that much more sick of seeing me around. He didn't even have to mutter it. But he did.

"_You're a different Kairi_," he said in a low voice. "_I don't remember_—"

" —_the girl you fell in love with?_" I finished for him. "I know I'm different, but it isn't because of this—"

"You _know_ it's because of that," he said under his breath.

I sighed in defeat. "I don't know what you're talking about. This issue was actually between me and Riku. Now that's it's closed, it's closed. That's all there is."

Sora's breath picked up steadily. I wasn't thinking straight. I wanted to seem like I was right, since no one would bother trying to comfort me. So I stuck to my opinion like a bee on a flower. I was diving for suicide.

His voice seethed with a twist. His usual tone of anger and hatred dipped into a melancholic theme, like he had missed the past the way I did too. "_'Get out...get out,'_ that's what you said. _'You drive me crazy,'_ " he recalled. I recoiled a little back when his words were directed towards me, and I almost felt the same emotions I felt when I was actually narrating those words.

I don't think it was just my hearing, because I heard him definitively ripping something in his hands. "_No, Kairi, you're the one who's changed._"

This time I took a step backward. With his back still facing me, I couldn't see his face at all. It scared me a little that my words came back to torment me a second time. At that point, I was shocked to the point of silence. I didn't even breathe heavily; the air was eerily static, but still heavy.

Finally, after what seemed like ages before any of us talked, I heard another creak on the floor when Sora walked out of my room. "See you tomorrow." He closed my door silently, not hoping to slam the door and wake my parents. I didn't even hear the front door close behind him, but through the open window I could hear his front door opening a little farther down the road.

Now, would I choose to leave this situation alone, or would I show him a piece of my mind tomorrow morning? I sighed heavily, a whole different weight lifting off my shoulders, as I took out my notebook and began writing notes on swirls and loops. I didn't think of anything but those last moments.

**X x X**

_"Give me a flower for every day you're happy to be with me."_

_"Then maybe I wouldn't get any for you..."_

_"Kairi!" I know you're always happy to see me!"_

_"Well..."_

_"Kairi!"_

_"Okay, okay, I'll go over to the gardens."_

_ VIII_.

_"So...this is your room?" I asked tentatively. As soon as he pushed the door __through, I had to hold my breath, only because I was scared of what he had __called me for. I was also becoming anxious, because our freshman assignment was __due in a matter of only ten hours, when our first complete week of high school __would commence. Sora, Riku, and I would be joining the rest of our former __classmates at someone's house later, and though I begged and pleaded for us not __to go so we could finish the project, the boys had tugged me along, saying I __couldn't miss this farewell party._

_It somehow seems that whenever I have to get some project done, Sora and Riku __always mess it up. Tch. School._

_I didn't close my eyes to shield myself from what I expected—an untidy and __common room for teenage boys filled with clothes piled in corners and secretive __mature magazines under his bed. And that's why I had to exhale deeply when I saw __something...totally different._

_It was almost...too tidy for a boy's room, to say the least. Clothes weren't __strewn all over the place; they were out of sight, concealed and stored in a __large closet and cabinet. The bed was not unmade; it was neatly folded, and the __pillows were prepped up and fluffed. A desk was located next to the bed and had __a laptop, desk lamp, and neat paper holders that held stacks of paper._

_"This is it," he announced, sliding himself around on the hardwood floor on his __rolling desk chair. "Nothing special."_

_"Are you kidding? This place is better than my room! Even the paint job is __better than mine!" I exclaimed, and I meant every word. His room was painted __dark blue, and in place of stars, there were hanging Christmas lights that I __knew he used seldom. It was all cozy up to the ceiling. The room I had was a __creamy white with absence decorating the walls. Cozy? Not as much._

_I sat down on the floor by his bed, my back turned towards the door. I could __smell his bed sheets, which were completely plush and smelled of clouds, I kid __you not. He had to be bluffing._

_"Your mom does this, doesn't she?" I asked, doubting that something like this __was conjured by...Sora._

_Sora almost looked like he was sitting and thinking about my question. His face __was eerily serious, something that was also seldom. "No, I do this myself." He __propped his elbows up on the arms of the chair and folded his hands together, in __serious therapist mode. And now, I already know what that looks like._

_Sora brought his chair closer to me, until the wheels of the chair were __threatening to run my feet over. He leaned down and whispered to me: "I have __obsessive compulsive disorder, it was hereditary. You had no idea?"_

_I stared at him a little a little skeptically. I looked him over a bit, looking __from his messy hair to the matching socks he wore. Now that I stared long __enough, I could see that each spike of hair he had was—and I kid you __not—proportionally correct, enough gel lathered to be equally distributed. His __face was orderly, with no scars or marks, and he had no piercings whatsoever._

_Besides that, I didn't find a single crinkle or wrinkle in his button-down or __his jeans. Practically, the outfit was a tie-short of being a private school __uniform. Why I hadn't noticed yet—I don't know. I just hadn't looked close __enough._

_"Never knew," I blatantly said, almost annoyed by the fact that I had overlooked __it. He was my friend and I didn't even know about his condition._

_"How does it feel...?" I asked him, but I realized my words and quickly covered __my mouth. Sora started laughing, dimples appearing to frame his lips, and I felt __kind of embarrassed for noticing. I stared down at the floor, noticing that my __shoes looked awfully nice today._

_I lifted my head a little and noticed that he looked me in the eyes in all __seriousness, and I noticed that he wasn't laughing anymore. His features were __once again straight, completely reflecting an OCD personality. His dimples had __disappeared as well._

_"Everyone is a little psychotic," he began. "We all have obsessive moments. No __one can really say that they haven't felt...psychotic. I'm sure you've had a __time like that."_

_"Well...yeah," I earnestly replied. "I think everybody has had one episode or __two."_

_"Exactly. Sometimes, we're all obsessed with something to the point where we __love the essence of it, no matter what." His voice lowered, and I took easy __notice of it. He lifted his gaze from mine, and from that point onwards, he kept __staring at the space behind me, towards the door._

_"Now...Kairi..." he started saying. "I have something to give you." _

_I didn't react when I saw that he was getting up from the chair. I didn't even __look to where he was going; instead, I took interest in how warm this room was. __Not only in temperature, but also in the abundant colors. I thought dark blue __was a pretty color that reminded me of a cool night sky. It gave me a warm __feeling that I didn't think was too common._

_"Kairi..." Sora said in a natural tone. "Happy birthday."_

_I looked towards the front of the room, and there stood the same Sora I knew __from my few years on the island. Dressed in his wrinkle-free button down, __neatly-pressed jeans, and same quirky self, he wore a wide smile that just __allowed those cute dimples to be themselves. He looked a lot older, and more __mature, but he retained that same young little kid look I knew._

_Nothing said a happy birthday like you forgetting the very day you were born, __your best friend remembering it for you, and that friend holding out a whole __thirteen-flower bouquet of assorted flowers out to you._

_I took in a whole breath. I saw that the flowers literally took my breath away, __since they achieved a much more beautiful color than advertised in common __knowledge. Every one was a different color, and some were even different shapes __and textures. No one had ever done that for me. Ever._

_"Sora..." I started, almost sounding like I was about to scold him. "I—I didn't __expect you to even remember my birthday...what day is it, again?" I joked._

_Sora smiled again, now his dark blue eyes lighting up as well, and he held out __the bouquet for me. I stood up, didn't even bother to dust my pants off, and __received the bouquet from him. They smelled wonderful too, and I wished I could __just hug it at that point._

_"September 17th, remember...?"_

_"Oh," I laughed again. "Of course."_

_"I don't know if you can tell, but those are 'special' flowers," Sora said._

_"Special? How?"_

_"Well..." He had to settle down in his rolling chair for him to tell this __story. "Remember how I told you that you should give me a flower from your __gardens whenever you were happy to see me that day?"_

_I giggled. "Yeah. You were awfully arrogant, Sora."_

_He laughed along as well. "I felt bad about having you do that to me constantly, __so...I got down into the soil of my great backyard and planted those very __flowers, the same ones you gave me. Eventually, I decided to buy the seeds __separately and plant my own garden. And...I included seeds for each one of those __flowers, so you could plant them also later. I know you love flowers and all, __so..."_

_I stopped him mid-sentence with a tackle hug that made him stagger a bit __backwards. I didn't say anything as my arms were wrapped behind his back, __protecting the bouquet also, and my head was by his shoulder. I turned my head __at an angle where I just laid my head on his shoulders, cherishing the moment. __How great his room smelled...how great he felt._

_"Sora, don't ever change," I managed to say. _

_Slowly, his arms wrapped around my back, and we both just stood there, feeling __each other's eyes seeing nothing but us standing there like two normal friends. __I didn't pick up on every single word Sora said after that; I was in too much __glee with those beautiful flowers. I was still kind of warm from our embrace, __and Sora was kind of running his head nervously, laughing it off. But I did run __out of his room in such a hurry to show my mom what I got, shouting a muffled __"Catch you later!" and sprinting out of his house. I did, however wonder what he __was going to say to me, even after all these years. Do I talk too little...or __too much?_

I never actually showed my mother any of the flowers. I kept it a secret, sneaking it into my room and placing it on the windowsill. I nurtured it adequately and allowed to live as long as it possibly could. And just like the relationship Sora and I had, it sort of died out when something terrible happened. But really, all that happened was that time had passed, and no matter how much I tended to it, it kind of just wilted with age. I guess that happened a lot.

**XXX **

When I walked into the school building this morning, it was still a bit strange that no one was waving to me, or even acknowledging me in the hallway. To make things worse, I had come to school at least forty-five minutes early, and the teachers didn't usually allow students into homeroom fifteen minutes before the first bell. What I was to do for thirty minutes, I had _no _idea. So, I just slid down my locker and sat on the floor. My bag was sitting in my lap, and I was flicking through a bunch of contacts on my phone.

"Hey, Kairi," a leaden voice stutters, and I look up to see someone I believe I have _never _seen in my life. He is wearing thick-rimmed black glasses that covered what looked like dark blue eyes. His hair is a bit messy, like he had rushed to school early, and I saw that he did put gel in his hair. He had on what I thought was a plastic smile, but I guessed that was what everyone looked like to me.

"Hi…" I mouthed, and I felt my lips pull into a smile. I was happy someone actually greeted me today, but I still didn't know who he was. He was cute, I guess, but I didn't really worry about it.

He smiled at me, his eyes not wavering from my face, and I watch as he slowly walked down the hallway, farther and farther away from me. It was reassuring that not everyone looked down on me, and that maybe, _just maybe_, I could have a new friend.

As I watched the rest of the juniors weave in and out of the hallway traffic, I thought about how different my life was going to be from now on. Would I have to slide down my locker every morning and watch as everyone else received hugs and laughs? Would I just have to accept the fact that I had now lost everything I had once cared about, and that the rest of my life could be affected by this? Most importantly, _was there anyone else that felt the same as I did…_alone, and sitting on the cold school floor, just waiting for their cue to walk into the classroom for the start of another school day?

_How could I ignore this for another year?_

**_XXX_**

Time seemed to proceed slower than normal. After homeroom, I had Pre-Calculus, which was filled with inequalities and headaches. I asked the person behind me for a calculator, but she didn't have one, and neither did the rest of the class, so I had to base my quiz on instinct and guesses. I tried going through my Honors Latin class, but all the conjugations didn't come straight into my head as fast as they did in freshman year. I _definitely _began regretting doubling-up on science periods. Taking two periods of Physics was absolutely unnecessary.

Fourth period was the most interesting for me. Avoiding the entire fact of going to lunch in one of the large outdoor cafeterias, I lugged my shoulder backpack around the many hallways until I finally staggered into the library. I don't remember ever visiting the library since after-school study hall in freshman year, and it struck me as odd that people were actually still _in _the library. It smelled of old textbooks and lemon spray, and the librarian gave me a sympathetic look when I signed into the log-in sheet. A table was free, so I set my bag on top of the table and tried not to have the chair screech when I pulled it back.

Taking a better look at the rest of the folk here, I saw two juniors that had the same classes as me, lonely freshman that looked like they wanted to be someplace else, and the one senior using this time as a rest period. I didn't think anyone would approach me, so I just kept myself seated at the table and opened my physics notebook and textbook. I scribbled down a few things about friction and velocity, trying to force them to sound sophisticated and elegant, occasionally glancing at the wall clock that hung over the library doors. It seemed that they didn't even feel like moving, so I just gave up checking at all and kept my eyes glued to my report.

I was so relaxed, laying my head down on my notebook, watching my pencil move around on its own, that I didn't even notice the chair in front of me squeak from the table and someone else sitting at my table. Instinctively, I pulled my bag away from their space, but before I could process who was even on the opposite side of the table, a sardonic voice brings my attention to them.

"_Physics?_ I remember taking that _last _year. It was kind of a joke…" The textbook landed with a _thud _on the table, and that's when I fully looked at the person in front of me. The first thing I saw were the thick-rimmed glasses, and then the uncontrollable hair, and then his blue eyes. It was the kid who had greeted me this morning, and he looked happier than he had this morning. He didn't look as nervous, but more relaxed, and I felt that he was relieved that he was done pretending for the approval of people—I think I knew how that felt nowadays. I didn't want to roll my eyes, but I felt like having my face look like, _"What the hell are you doing here?" _but I didn't think I could do it to him. He had the cute and babyish face some still had, whether they were juniors or seniors in high school. I would have to get really upset about it.

"You're a…_senior…?_" I tried guessing, but even his expression mocked me.

He laughed loudly, but not enough to be too rude. "I'm sure that's what I look like. _I'm a junior_," he said, almost reassuringly. He knew I was worrying myself too much.

"Oh," I said, but I didn't let anything go just yet, like I would normally do. "Why are you sitting at my table?" I asked, trying not to sound so, _oh_, I don't know…_discourteous_.

He gestured to the rest of the people in the library, but they didn't even look up. "I can sit _wherever _I feel like it. And…_I feel _like sitting here, for some reason."

I didn't answer to him. The weight of the pencil began to feel heavier, so I remembered I had a moral obligation to finish my part of the homework. I nodded a little skeptically to make sure he would shut up, and tried returning to my work. He flipped through my Physics textbook, and since I was too _busy _to even think about him, I just glimpsed a bit upwards and sneaked a few peaks at him. _He really did have a nice color hair._

The first bell rang for fifth period, and I had to try and not think about picking up all my stuff. That was the worst thing; having to pick up pencils, papers, _textbooks_, and everything else. The boy was still holding my book, and I had to try and not notice for the time being. I stuffed the rest of my books into my bag, hoisted the huge load over my shoulder, and tried not to notice when he still did not let go of possession of my Physics book. Like, _what did he even need the Physics book for? _Wasn't he done with the topic anyways?

He was engrossed in the said work, and I mustered enough courage to break his "concentration" and shut the book in front of his face. He looked up, and he seemed to finally realize that it wasn't his property. He stood up, bringing my book along with him.

"I'll carry this for you," he said, already hoisting his own bag over his shoulder. "Looks like you need a little help."

"Yeah, I need all the help I can get," I replied mindlessly, my face getting a bit warm from all this weird contact with a mysterious kid. "If…that's okay with you—"

"Of course it's fine. Come on, where's your room?"

"102."

"Okay."

**XxX **

"This is it?" the boy asked, following me around for about two minutes straight. At certain times when there was too much traffic, he put his arm around my shoulder, bringing another wave of warmth to my shoulder. I tried not to notice, but the rest of the people in the junior hallway did an even _worse _job. They looked at me with faces of scorn, but there were mostly whispers with stares aimed at me that they tried _not too hard _to hide. Apparently, the kid was perfectly fine with the stares everyone was giving me, and I tried not to even notice how _calm _he seemed.

I nodded at the sight of room one-oh-two, and I held out my hand for the book. The door was open, and I saw a bunch of other flustered Physics kids with the same period as me try their hardest to not look too nervous. The pre-presentation was critical for grades, and everyone _usually _failed them. The thing was I had the same flustered look on my face, which was a weird realization since I literally had _no _wishes to see Sora at this period. The even _weirder _thing than that was the fact that the boy had seemed to _forget _that he was still clutching my book. His eyes darted around the hallway, scanning wildly for the sight of—

I was right next to the front entrance when Sora walked in, completely ignoring me. He took his time walking into the classroom, his hands in his pockets now. It wasn't my fault when I couldn't avoid making eye contact with him. I noticed that the boy holding my book was also staring at both me and Sora, watching closely like a tennis match. I finally turned all my attention to him, pretending that I didn't even break eye contact with the boy. Slowly, he realized _again _that I was holding my book, held it out to me, and for some strange reason, _smiled_.

"Good luck," he said discouragingly.

* * *

><p><strong>AUTHOR'S NOTE haha.<strong>

**1 - I changed Netflix to Net Flicks to avoid copyright, but still, I DO NOT OWN "NET FLICKS OR NETFLIX" NOR AM I AFFILIATED WITH ANY OF THEM. On that topic, I don't own Kingdom Hearts either. This is a work of fiction, and the events should not be taken literally as in the Kingdom Hearts universe.**

**2 - I extremely apologize to all of you. If this was an urgent deadline, I would of _failed_ it. Basically, I don't have much excuse except _college. _Kill it with fire! Haha, no don't it'll be bad. I'm so busy, I'm sorry...this was written in between classes, on the bus, on certain weekends, and especially during Halloween weekend. I was in Jersey & bam it snows for the first time in October since 1954! So there's like three inches on the ground from Saturday, and I just stay inside writing...until the power exploded and _darkness_. Yeah, the trees didn't expect it, haha. So yeah, still no power = no wifi. haha. Best part is actually I ditched a couple classes to stay home c: Yup. It's been four days. No power :3**

**3 - next up is Scattered Memory~ I want it up next week but we all now that's highly unlikely...but I do have "tryouts" so to speak and I may be busy with preparation. Oh, and apparently Halloween is "rescheduled" in my town so Happy _late _Halloween! So, Happy Halloween, go get candy, watch Nightmare Before Christmas, or better yet, play Kingdom Hearts all night! Personally I'd love to go as Halloween Sora...HNNG**

** CupcakeLerman / Alyssa **


	5. Things are Different Now, Really

**On Crystal Sand**

**Chapter 5 -** **Things are Different Now, Really**

No one in this presentation could even speak a coherent sentence, for crying out loud; how could I do it?

We drew letters out of a hat, and the selected names would have to go up and present this period. More than anything else, I wanted this period to fly by, or for someone to drag on their presentation as far as they could until the fifty minutes were over. Meanwhile, I put the best of finishing touches on my part of the presentation, since I was being the spokesperson of Sora and I. Basically, I listened to all the other groups' words and tried scrambling the order of them to stick them into my report as well.

While I was copying the script of someone's report on football, I felt a piece of paper drop on top of my desk while I was moving my hand shakily on my notebook. On the paper was a disarrayed arrangement yet organized outline on everything I had studied on the physics of my project, including detailed diagrams that I had never even remembered to add in. I looked up to Sora, but he wasn't looking at me. He merely pointed at the paper, showing me the part where I was supposed to read, and whispered, "I knew you wouldn't do your part last night," with the same mellow attitude he seemingly always had.

I was going to thank him, but he just persisted, saying, "Just...read it."

When it was my turn to go up, there were a good seven minutes left of the period, and that was more than enough time for me to stand up in the front of the room and try not to embarrass myself. I didn't trip over my bag on the way up, I made sure not to—but I could feel that one step up to the podium would make my feet trip over themselves. I took my time getting behind the podium, and almost casually, I leaned my elbows on the stand and stared into the crowd. What a group of blatant students. They're not even pretending to hide the fact that they're sleeping.

"Well, Kairi?" Mr. Valentine urged, disrupting him from his own comfortable moment up at his desk, his arms propping his drowsy head up. I took a deep breath and cleared my throat before I spoke in my best speaking voice.

Nothing much was done by myself other than the fact that I had to bullshit some of the words on Sora's report, since they didn't make much sense to me. I skipped over tedious lines about pictures and continued reading about the parts with the loops and turns. In what seemed like last minute encouragement, my eyes wavered to Sora's desk, where I saw he kept the same disposition as the rest of the group. However, a one point, in the supposed heat of the moment, my mouth was running on its own, so I didn't notice that I added the bit about the time Sora was trying to help me learn ice skating one time, and how that plan ultimately backfired. That was what woke up the class.

"Miss Kairi, please refrain from too personal of matters," Mr. Valentine said from behind what appeared to be shaded eyes. The rest of the class was quietly snickering, muffled by their sleepless selves. I didn't like to see that Sora was sort of giving me a strong death glare.

Why had I said that all of a sudden? I panicked. Was I really that attached to this project? Of course not, I disliked Physics a lot, but maybe it had something to do with the fact that I was reading off somebody else's input. So casually, I took a moment to scan Sora's copy of the report, and I couldn't believe what I was seeing. My eyes widened, filled with sheer frustration as I scanned over the words a little bit faster this time. Was he actually...serious? Why now? My skin felt like it was turning a deep shade of red, anger seeping in.

The bell, my savior, had taken its time ringing loud and clear, saving more students like myself. They took off fast, and as I passed by Sora, I picked my book bag of the ground, and tried to bring myself to go as fast as I could to my next period. At that point, I actually didn't realize where I was going. I could imagine myself scattering about in the hallway, red hair going in a mess, but I didn't let that stop me. Normally I wouldn't mind if people saw me looking distressed because everyone knew I was in a stable sense, but it was now apparent that everybody thought my mental state was quite questionable.

Someone reached out and grabbed my arm, and I didn't put up any fight. I was dragged onto the small corner where the nurses' office was, and with the door shut, I leaned on it while Sora just looked me dead in the eye. I didn't even resist eye contact as I bored my own stare into his. I didn't dare show how much I wanted to cringe at the sight of facing him head-on. I think he understood me, because he stood down and just looked at me with his regular distaste again.

"All I wanted to tell you was that I was giving you back something today," he muttered solidly. So instead of writing purely about Physics on the report, you took this time to write about that one picture on the wall and what it was. To what, mock me? It was a little hard to understand him, but I picked up his words barely enough.

I didn't cease my glare, but it took me a lot of force to push words out of my mouth. "I don't care...I don't want your sympathy, or your notes, or anything. So what if you tore that photograph, I don't care. But I thought I was the one that changed, Sora...I thought I was. You said so yourself!" I continued muttering as well. It was hard to speak clearly or even think consistently when I was wedged into a little crevice of a doorway and his all-watching eyes were still trained properly on me. I tried my hardest not to even blink when I was sputtering all that I felt for the past few weeks.

"Oh, so I'm the bad guy now, huh?" Sora said, disgust in his voice and on his face. "I can't believe you."

He let go of his gaze on me and turned his back to me. Starting down the hallway, I let him go on. I couldn't even look him in the face without wanting to strangle him, or hurt him with my bare hands, as that's the way I looked at him now. Raw disgust was all I could think of when it came down to it. Things have changed now, really, and it's never all for the better.

**XXXXX**

There's a big gap—and I mean a huge gap—between classes. Like, four minutes long. And if that's not long, then I don't know what is.

I was skidding down the hallway with a huge textbook in my hand while I juggled my homework for the next period that I had retrieved from my locker. By this time those superfluous minutes had already passed and I was going to be marked tardy in just a few seconds. It was a living nightmare having to be late for the first time in my life, and I didn't like that I was this self-conscious about how I looked right now. Because, to be honest, I looked quite horribly spiteful just by the look on my face.

I slowly tapped the back door to see if it would allow me to slip through. The door was sealed, and the door was locked as well. I tiptoed to the front door to the classroom and gave a sullen nod to the teacher when I walked in. He was a substitute, so at least I wouldn't have to worry too much. Maybe. He seemed to understand my situation, as he gave an appreciative look and waved me off to my seat. I sat, and I played it easy enough for the first few minutes while he called attendance. The eyes of many were trained on me, and I felt a specific person was looking at me with a manner that I didn't need to discuss. Sora's cousin was in this class.

The substitute, who I recognized as my freshman literature teacher, finally brought out the assignment papers. "As I understand, you have, er, reading partners, so I'd ask that you please get into your groups and I'll hand the assignment out."

Desks turned, and I just looked to my left, where my assigned reading partner sat, eyes sullen and quiet to say the least. Her walls were back up again, and she was protective over everything. But, for some reason, I wasn't sorry for getting to know her. She's my best friend.

"Hi, Xion," I whispered under my breath.

_ IX. _

_The sun sets slowly here on Destiny Island. Riku's family had invited us to his vacation house, something we thought was traditional by now, and every summer, our parents packed their belongings and we tagged along so we could come. The beach was a little farther out from the vacation house, but assuredly, it wouldn't be if one had a car. On the eve of our last night visiting, we would make the two-mile day trip to the beach. This time, however, our parents were in another part of town, a little farther away from the beach, but still some walking distance away. Xion and Sora had tagged along, and they were just as happy as I was to be watching a beautiful sunlit sundown at the shore. I can watch its progress for longer than an hour, as that's how long it takes, but it's much better to watch with someone else by my side. So, this is why I had Sora with me one day so long ago, and we were drawing things in the sand, tracing outlines to be whipped away by wind or the water. Riku was standing out in the ocean, his feet immersed in the waves, and he was facing the setting sun._

_"Riku does that a lot now, doesn't he?" Sora said a little quietly, and I could tell he wanted me to stay quiet as well. I nodded in acknowledgement, and soon, after all the effort, the sand drawings weren't much concern for me. I look to Riku. I see his hands in his pockets, his winding hair being caught mid-drift with the wind and pulling it back. He was a little older than us; only by a few months physically, and by far, mentally. He was beginning to understand things we were only plagued with for the few seconds before we drifted off to sleep. He knew us while we were still struggling to find our identities. That was just Riku in a nutshell._

_It didn't take long for the subject to change. I stare at my sandals when I asked about Sora's cousin, who had tagged along with us. "Xion's our age, right?"_

_Sora sits up from lying his back on the sand. He always seemed to straighten up at the notion of his favorite (and possibly only) cousin. "Yeah, why?"_

_"Just wondering," I told him. Xion was Sora's cousin and for the longest time I was still thinking about getting to work up the courage to introduce myself to her as Kairi, Sora's good friend, the one that always visited his house for sandwiches and pineapple juice._

_"I never introduced you guys, right?" Sora asks me, and at that time a huge gust of ocean wind blew from behind us and my thoughts were turned into venturing home. I knew this was weather-talk for a bad sign._

_"Riku!" I called, and for the first time in what seemed like a while absorbed in conversation with Sora, I strain my eyes to see the figure of Riku towering in the horizon, but there's no one there._

_"Where the heck can Riku go?" I asked hastily, getting on my feet and wiping sand off my shorts. Another ocean breeze brings in colder air, and my hair is whipped across my face. Sora remains plastered on the ground, but his gaze is scanning the area for that Riku, and there is still no sign of him._

_Sora finally stood up and said that maybe Riku had gone before us and was already on his way home. We were supposed to walk together—all four of us, the only way the adults would've allowed us—but there were no tracks on the boardwalk from where Riku's feet would've made, and his slippers were still lying in wait from where we had left them by the entrance. To our despair, there was only one place left to check._

_We made it just in time with our legs screaming to give it a rest and our mouths tearing at us to stop breathing so hard to see Riku emerge from farther off the coast of the ocean, his hair matted down and messy. Sora and I collectively sigh at the boy, scolding him for going out too far and getting taken into the riptide._

_"Come on, Riku!" Sora shouted, calling him back onto shore. Riku bobs in the water at least fifty feet off, but from the distance I can still see that he's struggling to float, both his arms underwater and the water beginning to choke him off. His eyes are constantly blinking from the salty sea water._

_That's when I realize he's being weighed down, almost too tired to continue, and watch as his head disappeared along the line of the horizon and is replaced with two sets of bubbles ascending to the surface while Riku descended farther into an abyss._

**XXX**

Xion's eyes were weighted down with a familiar weariness to them. She didn't like to think that she was my best friend a few weeks back because it was just too hard for either of us to see it. Quietly and simply, she had distanced herself from me, and I was unknowingly riding that riff. Her hair was now shorter, her face grew tired of seeing me, and her eyes lacked the normal shine they had when she merely blinked.

Xion didn't say anything while we worked. Her eyes wavered over the papers of reading assignments we were intended to finish by the end of the period, and she seemed ready to get the work done. All my interruptions for small conversation were overrided by "yes" or "no" answers, and whenever she tried to elaborate to two-worded answers, the substitute threatened to pull us apart and work on our own. How much Xion really wanted that, I don't know.

I exhausted the topic of the assignment, and by the time the period had five minutes left, all our work was in a neat pile on the teacher's desk and our desks were separated again.

That was it. The bell rung, and we all got up to get our bags, and most of us left, except the two of us in the front. Her desk was cluttered with papers that she took out earlier, and I tried not to notice while I packed my own things up. All manner of small chat could be expanded now. It just took time. "Xion...I—"

She slipped by me, papers all being held by one hand, and her bag slung over her shoulder in a manner that I didn't think did much to cover her exhaustion. Somehow, it took me a few minutes to even think of where to start my words back when a hollow feeling gathered in the back of my throat. It stayed there for the rest of the day, before I felt that it was going to stay with me for the rest of my life.

Walking home from school, I had a feeling of momentary closure sweeping around me. I had a paper and a project to do when I got home, as well as a crinkly-looking paper that I got handed to on my way out of school. "Take this!" was what Yuna said to me, her smile looking as fabricated as usual, before handing one to the girl behind me, almost as forcefully.

I opened it up from the square I had folded it into and found the bright thing staring me in the face:** Friday, day of Pep Rally: Fall Homecoming Dance! Bring a friend, bring a date, it'll be the best one in years! Following the varsity basketball game and a *fantastic* performance by—**

I almost crumpled the paper again just to throw it into the street, but being the environmentalist I thought I was, I just stopped reading and stuffed the piece of trash into my bag. I laughed at the idea of going back into society. Why go, if nobody wants to go with you? Why go, if you don't want to go? Why did Yuna even hand me one; she knew I wouldn't show up. I mean didn't the whole world know that?

"I'll look for an excuse," I persuaded to myself, speaking out loud. There's always things I have to study for. I was on my front porch already, digging through my bag for my house keys. I found it—the one with the little sword keychain—and I pushed open the door just so I could get out of the dampening outside air. I was red with embarrassment, because I realized that homecoming was supposed to be a really important day. Hell, it was already marked on my calendar.

I trumped up the stairs and pushed yet another door open. I slipped off the bag from my shoulder and walked over to my calendar, and there was the date—highlighted, accented, circled—a reflection of how I used to live. I left it there, but without even noticing, I had to eye the azure strapless dress that hung on a loose hanger in my closet. "I shouldn't have bought it so early," I laughed obnoxiously.

I fingered the slim piece of fabric hanging in the closet, feeling the distinct little ridges of the dress, and remembered how it felt trying it on. My mother had approved it firsthand, and she even gave me the matching purse to go along with it. It lay on the bottom corner of my closet, next to all my purses and handbags. Here I was, left to hang on the little pieces of happiness I had. I decided to let go of the fabric for once.

I stood up, eyed the room, and it hit me almost as suddenly as the sound of the summer sprinklers turning on for the last time until next season. Sputter sputter spit. It began to feel suffocating in here, black on white, photographs on seemingly-empty spaces, a bed placed in a corner. Sputter, sputter, sputter.

I need to change. _Swish...swish_.

It needs to start. _Swishh...swishh_.

I'll start where I need to.

_X._

_Her head bubbled up to the surface with Riku's hair bobbing up behind her. He'd saved her. Riku had actually gone and put his life in front of someone else's._

_Sora was the first to notice it actually. He pointed out the breakages in the ocean waves and currents, followed shortly after by lots of pointing and false alarms. I didn't like to remember it, but it looked like there were tears streaming down his face._

Subtle_, I remembered saying to myself._

_He was waiting right at the edge of the sand shelf, his shorts completely wet and it took a lot for him to not get knocked over by the thrashing waves. I watched, a little shell shocked, my fingers tangling with the sand, grains sifting through._

_In a rush and a huge wave crashing on shore, a choking Riku and frantic Sora huddled over the still body of Xion. Her long black hair was tangled and plastered around her neck and shoulders, and the sand was beginning to group of her hands and wet figure._

_I heard them. I heard them screaming to me, "Kairi...Kairi? Are you listening to me! Kairi—" My thinking was clouded, and it took longer for me to react. The sun was almost completely set, the sky darkening each passing second._

_"Kairi, run to the house and get Xion's oxygen pump! It's—It's next to her bed!"_

_I sputtered something incomprehensible, but I heard Riku's voice persisting, "Just go! I'll go get our parents!"_

_And that's when my feet hit the pavement. Sandal to asphalt, sandal to asphalt, the sky grew darker, and the darkness grew on me. I didn't close my eyes, nor did I try to stop for any reason. I was fully aware that I couldn't run the two miles there, but it wasn't worth a shot._

_I was young. I was naïve. But I was sensitive. And I was fifteen years old, and physically capable of running some distance. My mind ran a mile-a-minute; while I was running more like ten miles an hour._

_The question pestered me the entire way. My lungs burned from oxygen exchange and carbon dioxide begging to be released, so I didn't verbalize my question. I asked simply in my head, "Why am I running?"_

_And I stopped._

_And I hesitated, for what seemed like a long time._

_What if Xion was dead?_

_What if she was relying on me?_

_Could I run the extra mile or would I catch a cab?_

_Most of all,_

_Would it be my fault?_

_Despite my problems, they died down once I arrived on the door step to the house. My muscles burned and ached, and I knew I wouldn't make it back in time. So I dialed on the house phone the number of Riku's parents, and when Sora answered, all the lactic acid and extra carbon dioxide subsided._

_"How's Xion?"_

_His voice came through the receiver as scratchy and deep. "She's stable, but she needs that oxygen stuff. We're coming over to pick it up in the ambulance."_

_"Oh, cool, an ambulance," I piped up, already peeking through the door to see the flashing red lights or to hear the blaring signal._

_I could hear Sora's disappointment. "Kairi...I know you don't know Xion, but, this is kind of im—"_

_"Important? Yeah, of course, I know. I'll definitely talk to Xion once she gets better."_

_"But, Kairi—"_

_I had already hung up on him._

**xxx**

I found myself looking up at my wall again. My eyes traced the pattern of each photograph, and it didn't take long for me to find it. Half-crumpled and half smoothed was a daunting memory staring right at me, the vision I didn't think I'd be so lucky to have. I remembered where that photo came from. And I had to keep it. So I stood on my bed, my arms reaching towards the photo, and I smoothed out the rough corners before they could wilt.

I crept down the stairs, fully aware that it was now late afternoon, but no one was home. The sky turned melancholic, and I opened the front door a bit to feel the breeze whip across my face. For a moment, I kept the door unlocked while I stepped out onto the porch and saw the rest of the neighborhood in full swing. People were out finishing touches on the fall decorations, kids walked home from school with their guardians, and the postman was going around delivering the mail.

Life goes on, doesn't it?

I reached into our mailbox and picked up the few envelopes we had. Underneath them, however, I felt the clear feeling of something I had just felt earlier. In perfectly normal condition, there it was, the picture missing from my wall. I didn't notice scribbled on the back the almost childish writing of a familiar former friend.

_"Kairi, Riku, and I: When Everything Went Right."_

* * *

><p><strong>[ Well this is obviously a <em>year <em>late, and I really want to apologize for that :c Yes I had college classes but I am a bit guilty of procrastinating and such :c I really wanted to post this now even though I'm on vacation because I felt so bad...my life has changed a lot in the past year, and it's been rough and i've been sorting through my priorities, so that's a bit tough. also, my main email with like everything on it (tumblr, twitter, fanfiction, etc.) was deactivated temporarily because I tried using it in a "suspicious manner" i.e using it in a foreign country, so I can't use it and it has like all my files in it :x i'm really sad, but i'm getting iCloud to backup everything...sigh ok **

**Moving on~ I'm finally planning SoKai and RokuNami Oneshots again! Yeah yeah bullshit but no I'm seriously writing it this time! haha Happy Kingdom Hearts 10th Anniversary~ ]**


	6. Gravira Falls

**On Crystal Sand.**  
><em>Chapter <em>**_6_**: Gravira Falls.

Mr. Valentine was passing out pink and yellow sheets out to everyone in the class, but for once, this wasn't for a mandatory class detention. They were sink-through "signing agreements" per se, for the physics project we were to complete. He began explaining it to the sullen-eyed classroom.

"Since we're researching upon the topic of physics in sports, you are going to have to do independent work at some point, on your own, as groups—and _no,_ that does not mean you are just going to play the sport around."

Muffled sighs rose from the class, but I kept my melancholic expression. I still wasn't looking forward to any type of class participation, especially with the involvement of sports and active movement. I glanced slowly towards Sora, who I had been avoiding in front of me, which was a lot harder than it sounded. He sat stiffer than his normal slinky self, figuratively.

"Mr. Valentine, sir," a kid behind me had kept his had in the air for a longer time before the teacher even noticed. "I didn't get to present from yesterday, after we got caught off by the bell—"

"Yes, yes, I know _Ventie_, please, sit still and let me finish—" He put down his stack on someone's desk, and sighed hesitantly.

"Um, my name's _Ventus_," the kid said, but Valentine was too busy thinking of a loophole between 'grading presentations'. "Uh, I guess the rest of you get B+ for participation."

That was how it worked in Valentine's class. He didn't want something done, he didn't have it done, not even if the other classes were doing the same. Though, if he wanted something done, it was sure to be done. And that is why we all _should've_ been put into different classes.

He kept going on with his instructions, despite the complaints. He was obviously fairly used to it by now. "For now, what we're going to do is you're going to find another example of physics in real life. It does not have to be related to sports, however, and it'll be due the Wednesday after the Homecoming dance."

The classroom erupted in broken sighs and noises of complaints. "That's not fair, we have Homecoming to worry about, and then we have to do it over Homecoming weekend!" were among the complaints.

_Ha_, I thought to myself. _That's why you should be like me, and let go of such high expectations._

"Well, you didn't hear the homework...and trust me—" he lifted the papers from the desk— "You'll want to have a weekend to do this."

At this point, even I was a little interested. Seemingly, a few months ago, if I had listened to this project I'd want to immediately transfer out of the class. But something held my attention. Something underlying, open to interpretation. I could virtually hear the gears moving around in Mr. Valentine's head.

"What you'll be doing is...looking for change in the scenery. Something..._no one else can be looking for_, and no one else may be able to see. This isn't completely compliant with your already existing project, but please, treat it as such. Because if you fail the main project, but you don't fail the extra credit...you'll pass.

"Now, I'm giving you leeway for all this, since it is the first real project of the year. But what you'll be required to do, is to find a location where you can study your surroundings peacefully and silently, or, however you want it to be, and be able to formulate theses and hypotheses. Meaning, _branch out_. Don't just stay in this rusty old town. Go out. See the world. _This_ is your excuse."

When he said that, I swore his eyes were directly fixed on me. I hesitantly averted my gaze, but I still paid close attention.

"Now, class will be dismissed a few minutes, so we might as well finish a lesson..."

**—–-**

_"This...is your excuse..."_

"Sounds like Mr. Valentinio to me," the blonde boy had cynically replied. Yesterday Valentine had given us the project descriptions, and I was relaying the directions to the blonde boy. Again, he was sitting across from me, but we were in the senior lounge, pretending to be seniors, and pulling it off pretty well.

"I don't know...there's something ominous in that sentence..." I tried reasoning, but the blonde kid didn't acknowledge that at first.

"He always did that. Psh, I bet he thinks he's so high and mighty for making a project he thinks kids will actually care about..."

"Hey! I actually kind of like the idea of...expanding. Seems like fun—"

"Fun? Look at the circumstances you're in Kairi. I wouldn't say it's completely 'fun'."

I stopped and let myself wonder for a little while. "_Wait_—" I finally said. "How'd you know my name is Kairi?"

The boy leaned on the back of his chair and stretched. He laughed accusingly, saying, "You forget easily..."

I looked at him with discomfort. _What, of course I remember, like everything. Mostly._

He stopped stretching, and looked at me with a deep stare. "I saw your textbook. Of course, it has your name on it! _You're so forgetful._"

I think I started blushing when he rubbed the top of my hair and patted it like I was a little middle schooler at a younge level than him. I swatted his hand away playfully, but he kept on messing up my hair, so I took this as the time to try and mess up his hair.

"Ha! You will not be able to defeat the strengthy bond sealed by my hair gel!" he proudly proclaimed. He was right; whenever I put my hand even near his hair, spiky tuffs of hair would poke me back.

"No fair! You're a guy!" I laughed, and I watched as the blonde boy stopped touching my hair, and he started looking at me with a distranged look.

Still smiling, I brought my voice to say, "Something wrong?"

With concerning eyes behind stiff rinmed-glasses, he said with pure concern: "I've never _ever_ seen you smile, ever since I've known you."

My eyes grew wide, and simultaneously, I looked away and felt my lips falling back into their stiff one-line position. I couldn't decide if it felt uncomfortable freezing my expression, or smiling broadly and openly.

"Oh—but it's good for you! You should, _er,_smile more, um..." the boy told me. He seemed to be turning uncomfortable, something I had not been so used to.

Smile a bit more, huh.

_"Smile more," I found myself saying._

My heart skipped a single beat.

_"It looks good on you."_

I looked straight into the eyes of the boy I had just met a a day ago, with whom I had begun to feel so uncomfortably..._comfortable_. He felt safe, but it wasn't because he liked me or even had anything in common with me. He just seemed like the same lost-case as me, thrown out of the rest of the school census or at least ignored a little by everyone else. _I could possibly learn from this boy._

"Hey...um, I didn't catch your name yet—"

People began pouring out into the hallways as the bell boldly declared the end of fourth period. I watched as everyone shouldered their backpacks and carried their personalities around with them—I didn't like to undermine everyone, but they all looked like walking contradictions.

The boy was still in some sort of sudden trance, so when the bell rang, he sprang out of his seat and shouldered his own backpack. I almost thought he was going to leave me standing there, before he reached over and wrapped his arms around me, embracing me in one of the warmest hugs I've ever had.

He was the one that said into my ear, "It's Roxas, by the way."

**—–-**

"Kairi, you okay today?" my mom shouts up to me as I trudge up the stairs to my room. She's always thinking I'm going to drag myself up the stairs and then I'd be hanging off in the closet, which I couldn't even think about.

I mutter loud enough for her to her, but she takes my,_"Just fine,"_ as a warning that's she's going to take me to Dr. Hewley soon.

"Oh great, I really missed that guy," I sarcastically shout down to her. The last person I need to see is Angeal. But, something did strike my head as odd.

As I walked through the school hallway, or to the bus after school, or towards my house, or up the stairs—my head was clearer and tidier than usual, the only things I focused on being school or the occasional social event. But, other than that, the trigger for what I had been experiencing was gone. And for once...I felt normal.

I still stared at that blue dress hanging in my closet. _Next Friday, huh._ I didn't know if I'd be that patched up by then, but I didn't put it in the back of my head. It was totally all possible, I kept telling myself.

That's when I remembered about the project—we had to do it this weekend. And nothing was worse than having to encounter Sora a week before pep rally and homecoming. We'd planned this stuff before, like it was our thing. But in the past I hadn't realized how much I'd taken things for granted.

This time, I did put it in the back of my head, to think about possibly later.

**—–-**

That Saturday afternoon, I was sitting on the evening train service to Traverse Town, a three hour ride. A placid man sat in the seat across the aisle from me, but an even more distant boy sat next to me on my right. He stared out the window to watch the passing ocean on his side, but all I could see next me was an open field, and a broad, blue sky. I sat silently, not mentioning anything, not even the reason we were on the train in the first place.

I watched everyone else around me, minding their own business, staring out at the windows as well. Sitting on the floor in between my legs was a small bag I had brought with me, where I kept my own notebook and a few pens and pencils. I also brought my wallet for good measure, not because I was planning to go out shopping, but just in case. There wasn't much munny in there, anyways.

We had been sitting on the train for about thirty minutes when Sora had stopped talking to me. The only time he acknowledged me was whenever they had to ask for the tickets at the station or if he needed to get out into the aisle. Other than that, he had completely forgotten I was there, and I didn't tap on his shoulder to even start discussing the project.

For some reason, I decided to replay the events of the second half of the week, something I didn't usually have time to think upon. I always thought of how my week went, because I thought I could find ways to improve the next week, even in circumstances like these.

The first voice I heard was Xion's, not even showing much emotion to even recall if she had said anything to me. She seemed so much farther away, even after I knew so much about her now. I remembered the touch of her hand whenever she'd hold mine, because sometimes, I'd get too scared to do anything. And looking back on it, it looked like I did need someone to hold my hand.

Then I remembered the warm voice of the boy I had just met—he said his name was _Roxas_. It seemed so far away to me, even though I just seen him yesterday. He said he was going out around the town, and he asked if I wanted to tag along. The funny thing was, I did want to go, but I didn't really know how to say no to that boy. His face was smiling encouragingly, already waiting for me to take his hand to join him. But I told him reminded him about the project homework, and he let the subject subside. But before I could even think of forgetting about him, he took my hand, whipped out some type of permanent marker, and wrote ten digits on my wrist.

"_There_," he said afterwards. "_That'll be hard to scrub off._"

I almost smiled when I looked at the fading marker writing on my wrist. The hills began to roll on and on throughout the terrain, and the sun was so high in the sky I couldn't tell what the time of day was. On the train, the loudspeaker came on to notify the passengers that they were approaching the destination in about 45 minutes. I looked towards Sora, who was still facing the window.

We were going to arrive at the station, and then later take a short bus ride to a little out of the city to see the Gravira Falls. Discovered just recently, it was a natural waterfall that ran water down through the Shibuya River, a river Sora said he'd "never actually seen before."

It kind was just a regular waterfall, and it probably was nothing special, but I really wanted to believe there was something about it that we didn't know. I was strangely motivated to get a good grade on a stupid project, no matter how dejected I was about Sora being awkward towards me.

"Hey, Sora," I finally perked up to talk to him. "We kind of need to get started on whatever our hypothesis is supposed to be about," I said really quietly. I didn't want to make it seem like I wanted to talk to him, even though I had been vying for him to just turn around and acknowledge me at least once.

Sora didn't answer; he just continued to stare out the window, his head leaning on the chair. I didn't go to nudge him, but I did see it. I saw that he was asleep, his eyes not even fluttering when I was right in front of his face. His breathing was slow, but he looked more peaceful than he had before.

I didn't know if I should shove him to wake up, or if I was to just sit there and wait for the train bell to do that for me. It had been a long time since I was even this close to Sora, and just because I thought it would be horrible to wake him, I sat back and folded my hands in my lap, trying to close my eyes, but I still didn't fall asleep as easily as Sora did.

**—–-**

I kept my head faced in the general direction we were supposed to go, and I don't think I even stopped to have Sora catch up to me. He didn't even want to walk at the same pace at me.

This was the first time I had even been to Traverse Town, but I didn't even look around. There were too many people crowding the plazas, and it looked like we could both get lost around here. Tall and austere buildings surrounded the Fifth District, and it was hard to maneuver around without tripping down the narrow steps with people all trying to do so at the same time.

Suddenly, Sora's voice appeared right next to me. "We're supposed to head for the First District, where the buses leave."

"Well, that's kind of unfortunate. Why don't they just have it at the train station?"

"I have no idea; don't ask me," Sora muttered in agreement.

I openly sighed and kept going in the general direction I thought other people were going, and while avoiding the little ponds of water we could've fallen into, we made it to the Fourth District.

I continued to pass the large crowds, especially the one gathering in front of the entrance to the district. Massive yells and cheers came from that direction, and there was a large opening in the middle of the crowd—for what, I couldn't tell.

Sora had begun to waver off to look at the crowd and what they were so excited for, and eventually he almost walked right through it. Without thinking about the consequences, I dove in and snatched his wrist, and pulled him out of the crowd.

"Wait—Kai—" I didn't give him time to speak before I pulled him out, and he almost tripped on me. Nearby, there was a little moogle standing off at the side, it's little red pompom eager to make known of itself. I had never seen one in person before, but I headed towards it, my hand still firmly grasped around Sora's wrist.

"What is this competition for?" I almost yelled at it.

With it's usual tender kindness, it answered, "The daily Flick Rush competition! If you want to join, just wait off to the side and watch the rest of the battle first, kupo!"

"Thank you," I said, and I pulled Sora along. We pushed through a crowd, where I even risked losing the bag hanging off my shoulder, and risking losing Sora for the project, of course.

When we finally went through the massive pile of people and found the steps leading to what was supposed to be the Third District, I let go of Sora's hand and let myself breathe a little.

Sora looked up to me, and I saw that he was rubbing his wrists. _"You have a crazy grip, Kairi."_

I nodded, but I didn't say anything.

"That looked like the freaking freshman hallway," I sarcastically said, to which Sora smiled at, but quickly took back. I stood up straight, and tried not to think about what had just really happened.

When we made it up more stairs and shoved through a smaller crowd, we made it to the entrance to what I thought was the Third District, but instead, we ended up in a slightly different place than I had expected. People were all crowded around a fountain, some even being pushed in accidentally. I watched as some scaled the fountain to get a treasure prize at the top, but he had tried not to get wet. On the other side were some tall buildings, what I'm sure we're large department stores. One, called the 104 building, had kids going in and out at any given moment. Adjacent to the department store was a small walkthrough park with a single statue of what looked like a watch dog. But the single problem with all of this was the large and contested crowds, and I couldn't even see over some of the taller people.

I looked to Sora, who was still looking around, but not in awe or anything. He just pointed straight, in I guess what he thought was the next district, but I couldn't exactly see anything.

Sora sighed noticeably and said, "Do I have to grab your wrist this time?"

My skin got warmer, and I tried not to notice. I had to clear my voice a few times before I went ahead with saying, "No thanks."

"Just follow me," Sora said, and he headed through the large crowd, not checking to see if I actually did follow him.

Repeatedly, we'd try to feather through the crowd without bumping into anyone, but that was completely futile. At one point, a group of three kids that we had to push by all perked up and looked towards Sora. I saw one as a perky girl with wavy redish-pink hair, and she was wearing a hip skirt and a stylish hat to match.

When I passed by her, she stopped whatever conversation she was continuing with her friends, and said among them, "He reminds me of someone...you guys remember, right?"

I heard another guy behind me realize this when he said, "Yo, that's Sora! I totally remember him. Hey, Sora!"

Sora momentarily turned around and waved, and I saw him smile to them also. I didn't look back, but I did accidentally shove into Sora to keep him moving. The crowds seemed to get thicker and thicker, and before long I could barely see out from the people surrounding me. Eventually, I had lost Sora, but I just went ahead and went in the general direction of straight. Nonetheless, I bumped into a lot of people, but hey, that was their fault too.

When I pushed through the crowd and finally found a good opening through, I saw that Sora wasn't behind me, but he also wasn't waiting for me. Chances were that he had already gone ahead, so I just went through to the exit to the crowded district.

**—–-**

When we made it up more stairs and shoved through a smaller crowd, we made it to the entrance to what I thought was the Third District, but instead, we ended up in a slightly different place than I had expected. People were sprawled all over the place—some crowded around a fountain, some even being pushed in accidentally. I watched as some scaled the fountain to get a treasure prize at the top, but they had tried not to get wet. On the other side were some tall buildings, which I was sure were large department stores. One, with _104_ in gold letters, had kids going in and out at any given moment. Adjacent to the department store was a small walkthrough park with a single statue of what looked like a watch dog. But the single problem with all of this was the large and contested crowds, and I couldn't even see over some of the taller people.

I looked to Sora, who was still looking around, but not in awe or anything. He just pointed straight in what he thought was the next district, but I couldn't exactly see anything.

Sora sighed noticeably and said, "Do I have to grab your wrist this time?"

My skin got warmer, and I tried not to notice. I had to clear my voice a few times before I went ahead with saying, "No thanks."

"Just follow me," Sora said, and he headed through the large crowd, not checking to see if I actually did follow him.

Repeatedly, we'd try to feather through the crowd without bumping into anyone, but that was completely futile. At one point, a group of three kids that we had to push by all perked up and looked towards Sora. I saw one of them, and she was a perky girl with wavy redish-pink hair, wearing a hip skirt and a stylish hat to match.

When I passed by her, she stopped whatever conversation she was continuing with her friends, and said among them, "He reminds me of someone...you guys remember, right?"

I heard another guy behind me realize this when he said, "Yo, that's Sora! I totally remember him. Hey, Sora!"

Sora momentarily turned around and waved, and I saw him smile to them also. I didn't look back, but I did _accidentally_ shove into Sora to keep him moving. The crowds seemed to get thicker and thicker, and before long I could barely see out from the people surrounding me. Eventually, I had lost Sora, but I just went ahead and went in the general direction of straight. Nonetheless, I bumped into a lot of people, but hey, that was their fault too.

When I pushed through the crowd and finally found a good opening through, I saw that Sora wasn't behind me, but he also wasn't waiting for me. Chances were that he had already gone ahead, so I just went through to the exit to the crowded district.

**—–-**

What I ended up in was the back streets, which were thankfully less crowded. In fact, there probably wasn't another person walking here. I still didn't see any Sora waiting up for me, so I just kept going on my own, which was a horrible idea since I didn't know where the hell to go. I walked onto the bridge and climbed down the steps, and found what looked like the exit.

Near the exit, a boy was standing in front of a wall, and looking over something on the wall. He didn't move much, but he did flick his wrists once in awhile. He looked my age, and he didn't look as differently dressed as everyone else around here, so I got up the courage to approach the guy.

"Hey, by any chance have you seen a brown-haired boy, with blue eyes—" I stopped myself when I realized half the town looked like that. The boy didn't turn around, and he just continued flicking his wrist around. He was also wearing headphones, which was probably why he couldn't hear me.

I tapped his shoulder, and he finally turned around in surprise, and that was probably all my mistake.

He was holding a spray canister, which was probably why he had been staring at the wall for so long. When he turned around, he was still pressing on the spray can, so he sprayed all over myself and my bag. It was kind of surprising, considering I had never even felt what the spray paint felt like, and it actually kind of hurt.

"Oh, damn—I'm so sorry, Shiki! Wait—" The boy took another look at me and his eyes widened, because he had mistook me for someone else. "Oh, you're not Shiki."

"Yeah, uh, I'm Kairi," I mentioned, while trying to touch the paint, which was already starting to dry.

"Hm. Cool. Sorry 'bout the, um, paint." The boy turned around, and resumed spraying the wall, and it kind of hurt just to see another person turn their back on me.

Before I got the chance to rip those headphones off his head, Sora appeared next to me, and almost ignored me when he started talking to the kid.

"Hey, Neku," Sora called him. Neku looked up, and for a moment there was some slight appreciation.

"Hi, Sora," Neku replied, and went back to furiously spraying the wall. He nodded towards me, and said, "This your girl?"

"What? Oh, uh, yeah. I guess." He remembered I was standing right next to him, and he looked over the quick color changes to myself.

"What'd you do, spray her?" he momentarily asked Neku.

Neku didn't turn around again, but he solemnly nodded, to which Sora surpressed a laugh from.

"Shut up, Sora," I tried saying to him, and I continued walking ahead. Sora didn't start following me until he finished talking with Neku, and caught up with me.

"Neku's just...like that," he said quietly, almost apologetically. Almost.

We had finally made it through to the Third District, which meant one more district to go. There were smaller crowds, but they weren't anything to worry about.

Sora stretched and put his arms behind his head. "Now, this is my section. Come on, I know a real shortcut."

"Oh, I'm sure you know," I muttered one-wordedly, but just followed his lead. By now I had become somewhat of an expert at maneuvering crowds, and I made it through the streets pretty fine. Sora lead the way, and we ended up in a quieter and homier section of town, where I could actually breathe and hang onto my bag.

Sora lead me to the smaller outskirts of the town, and that was where the bus station was. We immediately hopped onto the one that said "Gravira Falls", and we got seats right next to each other. The bus slowly began to fill up with people, until the doors closed and we all sped off.

I didn't thank Sora, nor did I try to talk to him on the short bus ride there. My hands were folded in my lap, and I had to stare down at them the entire time. When we got out of the bus, we tried to make it at the front of the line, and thankfully, there wasn't a huge crowd here.

Seeing the falls up close was incredible. It seemed that they were pumping water to make the falls flow faster, because it seemed so impossible that it was natural. I just continued to look up in complete awe.

Sora, on the other hand, didn't do much but stare motionless looking at it, but I didn't think he was calculating stupid formulas for anything. He just stared at it, his eyes scaling the falls up and down, I stared at it, and we continued observing it for about an hour.

I had taken the liberty of taking down all the notes for myself, while Sora didn't even take out his notebook from his backpack. For a moment I watched how he looked at the massive waterfall, and I didn't know what he even thought about it.

It was beginning to get dark, and I was not yet done finishing what I thought was a pretty crude description of how gravity really affected the Gravira Falls, why it was appropriately named, et cetera. I hoped Sora had been taking mental notes instead of physical notes because I was sick and done with all the stupid note taking. His breathing grew a little heavier, but I paid no attention. By the time it was dark enough to not see my own handwriting, I packed up my stuff and decided to call it a day.

I nudged Sora, but not hard enough that he'd get mad at me. "The evening line's gonna leave in an hour, I think we should head back now."

The entire time we had been here, while countless people flooded in and out of the park—some even asking us to take their picture—Sora had not written a single note, or even moved, for that matter. He had stayed stoic and unmoveable, his expression almost the same throughout, and unless he was really contemplating the meaning of gravitational laws, then he shouldn't have a total excuse.

He looked up at me standing over him, and he seemed finally taken out of his state. "Oh, um, right—do you have the tickets?"

I leafed through my bag and produced two ticket stubs. He got up and dusted his pants, stretched again, and started walking towards the exit, like he hadn't done anything wrong. Like he did a lot of the time.

He's always been like that.

**—–-**

There was a large mob of people at the station, but unlike all the other crowds of Traverse Town, they looked unhappy and worried, some screaming in disappointment. When Sora and I made it there, some people were pushing us out of the station when they left angrily, muttering, "Come on. I'm sure we could stay at an inn for a night."

We made our way through the crowd, and I myself had a bit of a worried expression on my face. It was a Saturday night, of course it was bound to be crowded, but all these people were just standing around doing nothing but yelling madly. Before any of us could go up to the ticket counter to ask what had happened, the four dings of the train station announcement came on.

_"The northern line to Destiny Islands, which was previously departing in thirty minutes, has been canceled, due to weather concerns and hazards. The line will not be up until tomorrow afternoon. We apologize for the inconvenience, but wish you a pleasant stay in Twilight Town."_

The four dings went down again, and the announcement was repeated in the local language. Sora stopped threading through the crowd, and I stopped moving too, so we both retreated to one of the benches outside the station. A nearby radio was describing the terrible blizzard breezing through the Destiny Islands, which was pretty rare since it was an island...in the _fall_.

"What're we gonna do now...?" I asked myself, but Sora was listening to me too. We sat on the same bench, but we were almost feet apart from each other.

"Well," he said, getting up from his seat. "We might as well look for a place to stay." He started walking down the steps to the next district.

I stood up and almost yelled at him. "Wha—_giving up already?_"

Sora stopped in his place, his head facing towards the ground. I didn't know about him, but I was kind of worried now. I hadn't brought any spare clothes, or enough munny, and I certainly couldn't pay for anything at all now.

Sora's voice had become more distant than before, that I had to strain to hear it. "Come on," he said. "I know a place."

**—–-**

Thankfully, he hadn't lead us to anyone's house—or even better, he hadn't just barged into someone's house—he brought me to what looked to be a small inn located in the Second District. The square was filled with late night stragglers, musicians playing for fun, and a few people sitting around and chatting. Sora booked a room—_or, more precisely, he said his name, and they hurriedly prepared a room_—and got the keys. I didn't want to spark any bad reputation, so I strayed slowly behind him. **  
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The room had two separate but alike beds, and I immediately claimed the one closest to the window by plopping my stuff down on the bed. I opened up the little doors to a balcony, and saw beneath me a view of a quiet walkway and more streams of water surrounding it. A few people were wandering around, smiling, laughing, and some held hands and smiled at each other. I quickly shut the doors.

"Well, what do you want to do now?" I turned, asking Sora. "I have nothing to change into, or shampoo, or any shit to do..."

Sora was lying on his bed, his head off the end, looking like he was in deep thought. A thought crossed my mind, and this time I didn't push it back onto the shelf. I walked over to him, and in some sort of unreprised action, I leaned over to peer at him. I could clearly see the tint in his eyes.

"Whoa!" he sat up abruptly, rubbing at his eyes. I didn't hold myself back from laughing at him.

"Give me a break, Kairi," he muttered, a smile still evident on his face.

I jumped back onto my bed, in the same position Sora was laying in. "I used to do that to you all the time when I caught you sleeping on the beach."

I didn't expect Sora to immediately reply to me. "Yeah, I'd think you would've grown up at least a little."

I was the first one to scoff at that idea. "Please. You're never the one to grow up."

Sora sat up on his bed and looked down on me. "You're kidding, right?"

I turned on my side to face him. "Do I look like I'm kidding...?"

When I saw Sora's face, I didn't cringe, or flinch, or do anything out of the ordinary. I just watched him. I was holding back a smile, because I couldn't just not smile when I looked at him. That was it. Sora looked at me in seemingly the same way, his eyes watching how I looked at him. And for just a split second, I didn't see rage, or anger or hatred at me. I saw him. _I saw Sora._

He turned onto his side and faced his back at me. "You always look like that," he muttered defensively.

I put my back down to the bed, and stared up at the ceiling. The sheets were becoming warm under my body, but at the same time, I felt like curling up under them. I waited for another voice to start speaking, even if it was mine, but nothing happened for what seemed like the longest time. After a deep breath, Sora was the first to say something after that.

"Do you think Valentine's just pulling our leg with this whole project thing?" he asked.

I was still staring at the ceiling when I answered him after long thought from myself. "No, I think he just wants to work us more."

"Man..." Sora then turned to face the ceiling also. "Third year's turning out to be a drag."

_I couldn't agree more._

"Oh, hey, uh, did you write down the notes?" he asked a little cautiously. It had finally hit him that something else was wrong.

It didn't make my blood boil or anger rise in me when I remembered the kid didn't take any notes. I shrugged and said, "Yeah, of course I did," to which he replied with a surprised _"Oh."_

I was waiting for Sora to start talking to me again, but it was taking longer than I thought. Sora's breathing picked up slowly again, like he was falling asleep, but for some reason, I interrupted him with the most solemn question I could have ever asked him at this point.

Turning towards him, I wanted to see his face when I was going to ask the question. I didn't want underlying tension to separate me from the tension, and for a split second I made sure to keep my hopes down. In an almost quiet whisper, I asked, _"How are you, Sora?"_

Again, I didn't expect him to answer immediately, and I gave him time. In fact, I wasn't going to be bothered if he had not even answered me at all.

Not much longer later, he sighed and answered, "Not bad, not great."

"Me too," I agreed, almost simultaneous with his answer, and turned to face the ceiling again. That had been a lot of pressure off my chest.

Before I could continue saying anything, Sora had the next word. In short sentences, he started,"Remember last year—

"—When we all thought this was going to be the best year of our lives—_even better than senior year_...when I couldn't wait to finish school, and get a job, and spend all my time with _you two_...I missed it. I don't have a second chance anymore. Maybe I can still finish the year, and finish next year, but it's not going to be the same anymore."

He turned to me, but I didn't dare face him. My eyes were plastered to the light fixtures on the ceiling, tracing all the designs that crowned the top. "I don't have anyone anymore."

I was completely silenced at this point. My heart screamed to say the same to him too, because that had been all I had thought about in the past few weeks. I hadn't told him I'd been hurting when I needed to, and he felt the same way, which, was probably all that I had feared earlier on.

I didn't want the conversation to dissipate, but I had to let it go away. It hurt every part of me to disregard it, but I had to do what I was trying to teach myself to do. Like the last sour note stuck in my mouth, I didn't get to have the last word when I had earnestly struggled to let it be free. Be free. _Move on._

It took me all the feelings in my gut to sit up on the side of the bed and play off that I had heard Sora talking, but didn't want to talk about it. "So, why is there such a huge department store in such a crowded district?"

Like he hadn't just brought all his emotions out on me, he sat up on the side of his bed and looked at me in complete awe. It was like he was just like me; he had sat up so fast he probably seemed to have forgotten the entire conversation we had. "Don't tell me—_you've never been to Traverse Town before this,_ haven't you?"

"No...why? It's not like you've ever said you've been—"

He grabbed my wrist and stomped toward the door, like a little boy dragging his mom to go out. "_Wha_–Sora, what do you want?"

"We're going out to see the town!" he yelled defiantly, already putting on his shoes.

**—–-**

Sora didn't grab me by the wrist or anything, but whenever I did straggle behind, he'd come around and push me forward, and I'd shoo him away.

Because there were so many crowds earlier, I wasn't able to see Traverse Town at all. But since it was now all nightlife, the regular crowd had went home and were replaced by late night party-goers and couples out for midnight walks. The clock on the massive building outside the inn read that it was around eleven in the evening, so I assumed that everyone should be going home.

Sora didn't let that stop him. First, he dragged me through the back streets so we could go to the Fourth District. Neku, the boy Sora had been talking to and the one that sprayed paint all over me, was gone, but his mark was left on the wall he had been standing in front of. The initials "C A T" were scrawled on the wall in graffiti art style, and I had to suppress the thought of such a cool and collected guy like Neku having a name that means exactly what the wall said—a cute and cuddly cat.

Sora raced up the steps and kept waving me on to follow him into the Fourth District, which was of course, still crowded, but manageable, with lots more open space.

Sora waited for me to catch up with him. "This is the Fourth District. They just opened this place recently, so yes, Kairi, it does smell new."

I saw him beaming at the entire place. He pointed to the water fountain and described the time he once scaled the entire thing and how he could do it again in fifteen seconds; he then mentioned a really good sushi place and the nearby coffee store. Later, he mentioned how big the department store actually is on the inside, and that's when I mentioned I didn't have any spare munny lying around.

Sora assumed his regular thinking patterns, and gave me the best answer he could've. "Well, you gotta have munny with you in a department store. Maybe we'll find some...Let's go—" and with that, he sprinted into the store, which I was surprised, was still open.

Inside were a multitude of different types of stores—restaurants, clothing outlets, designer brands, coffee shops, bookstores—I almost went crosseyed looking everywhere. I couldn't count all the floors, but as we passed more and more stores, I was sure to note all the different types of stores there were.

Sora looked to me, his eyes glowing just like mine were. "That was my first reaction too."

"What? You hate shopping around! And, since when did you even like walking?"

"Shut up, Kairi, I'm not that rude..." he said, and he continued in leading the way. There were more late-night stragglers going making the rounds in the mall, and I saw almost all of the stores were still open with people still sifting through.

I had begun to slow down a bit when we passed by a jewelry store. I couldn't help but eye this pearl necklace that was sitting on one of the shelves. Sora had continued walking, thinking I was following him, but I spent a few lasting moments watching the glass. I envisaged myself wearing it, in some kind of weird alternate universe, and watched as everyone else in the store lined up to pick something out. The necklace, with it's single simple pearl...reminded me of the islands.

When I looked back at Sora, he still didn't realize I was gone, so I caught up with him as he was just about to tell me something.

"I know this really cool place—hey, why you smiling?"

"Ha, none of your business."

He still looked over at me, and I looked to him, but he just nodded it off. "Hey, let's go in here."

I took a seat on the bench and shooed him off, like a mother shooing her kid into the store for his own fun. "Nah, I'll sit this one out."

Sora stayed there for a second, looking out at me, and then back to the store, then back at me. "Alright, suit yourself!"

Sora ran into what looked like a store that sold guys' clothes, and before long, I couldn't even find him among all the hooded sweatshirts and cardigans.

My heart was racing from running around the entire town, and now I really felt relieved enough to take a deep breath. Never have I ever felt that much pressure to do anything right or act a certain way. But somewhere inside, I felt like this was supposed to be normal. At one point, Sora and I had been really close friends, right...?

_Really, really close friends._

No, it didn't seem possible anymore.

Throughout all the past weeks, Sora had been thoroughly mad at me and even acted that exact way. And now, when we end up having to have a stupid sleepover in a foreign town, he seemed different, but not totally foreign that I didn't know him again. He reminded me of how he was before this school year even started. And that was enough to make me excited to be around him. It felt like...I was home, when I really was miles from it. I felt...safe.

When I felt like Sora must've died inside the store for him to have taken so long, I decided to check the time on my phone. It read _0:24_, so it was a little past midnight. But in the corner of the screen was a little message icon, something I hadn't seen in awhile. I went to my inbox, and there were two texts from a number I hadn't saved.

_[Unknown]: How's your weekend in Traverse Town, Kai? Sat. 9/15/12 21:56_

_[Unknown]: You're not answering me...u ok? Sat. 9/15/12 23:43_

I almost forgot that Friday had just been yesterday. I glanced at my wrist, and found the same black numbers Roxas had scrawled on there. I went to go answer his text, and I replied to it like I would normally.

_"Hey, I'm fine! Just hanging around Traverse Town hbu" Sun 9/16/12 0:34_

I sent the text, and I went back to looking around for Sora. He still hadn't shown up by the time a text came through, which must've taken a good ten minutes.

_[Roxas]: ...it's midnight. Don't tell me... Sun 9/16/12 0:45_

_"Hey don't think that, we're just out—"_

I was right in the middle of typing out the text on the keyboard, but I looked up straight away when I saw something fly by in front of me. At that time, Sora rushed out of the store, caught sight of me, and grabbed me by the wrist. For the second time that night, I was being lead around, but this time, it was the entire mall, and I was growing uncomfortable. I shoved my phone in my pocket, and tried not to trip and fumble.

"Hey! Sora, where are we headed to?" I yelled at him while I slipped my hand into his to be more comfortable.

"Don't talk! Just run—_casually!_" he retorted, and that's when I took notice of the two coats in his hand.

"You stole from the store?!" I said, almost yelling at him.

"No, no, this guy was gonna kill me because I took the ones he wanted—"

I almost dug my heels into the ground. "That's it?!"

"Whadya mean that's it!? This is the bad part of Traverse Town, Shi—"

I thought I heard two gunshots behind me, but that couldn't have been right. I heard one more, and by this time, I was dragging Sora to get out of there. We had reached the statue of the dog outside the 104 building when we finally stopped running. I felt like my lungs were about to give out.

_"I thought_...you were..._a cross country_...sprinter," Sora breathed in between words.

"_Excuse me!_ You shouldn't have..._pissed off_...a guy with a..._gun_!"

Sora stopped panting, and stood up straight. He brushed his pants, and looked back at the 104 building, before saying, "Well, let's go on."

I didn't take his hand or even ask him anything. I just took my hand, and punched his arm.

He turned around, and I at least tried to explain how I felt. "I was really...worried."

"Geez, I'm sorry, I won't leave you by yourself next time, then," Sora replied hesitantly.

"But—" He cut me off when he slipped his hand forcibly with mine, and I could feel the same warmth he did. He wasn't looking at me, but all he looked at was the ground shifting beneath his feet. Unnoticeably, he was shaking, and I watched as he looked down at the ground. "Let's go elsewhere."

I nodded, knowing that my voice would've gone nowhere with him.

**—–-**

He continued to show me around, even when the clock struck 2 in the early morning. By this time there were smaller crowds, but the lights were still going strong. After the incident, he had continued to show me almost anything he could've possibly showed me, like the massive graffiti art his friends helped do, as well as the place to enter the Flick Rush competition. He loved watching what was going on, he said, and he had only been here a few times. Lastly, he brought me to the outskirts of the city, far enough that the glaring lights weren't in sight, but not too far that we'd get lost. Then, he stopped walking, dropped himself down on the ground, and told me to do the same.

I scoffed at him, and watched how he was just lying on the ground so carefree."You do the stupidest things..." I muttered under my breath, but Sora just took my wrist and pulled me down. I was lying right on the grass next to him, but when my eyes adjusted, I clearly saw something I hadn't seen in the longest time.

"Man, showing people around sure is tiring," he said, folding his arms behind his head to prop up his head. I could feel him looking at my expression, but I couldn't dare peel my eyes from the most beautiful thing I had seen in a while. I felt my senses brighten up under the cold sky.

"How many times..._exactly_...have you been here before?" I said while keeping my gaze fixed ahead.

Sora took his time with answering me. I didn't feel he had much to say on anything. I couldn't hear his once audible breathing, which had reduced to inconsistent sighs which brought out little clouds of mist from this breath. At one point, I had almost forgotten of his presence; it was just me, and the—

He cleared his throat, and I knew why he felt that way. He didn't know how to word his sentence, so he coughed, and continued, saying, "I, uh, helped people around the town oftentimes. I'm surprised they all remembered me."

I didn't want to hesitate for my sentences anymore. "You're kind of hard to forget, Sora."

The other side of me was silent. I accepted this silence, and continued looking towards the sky. My eyes would blink again and again when I realized that this was real, and not some kind of holograph.

"You can't really see them from the city," Sora interrupted, like he really wanted to get his sentence in before the moment disintegrated. "Or even Destiny Islands anymore. It's like...they move to wherever you're meant to be, whether it's somewhere new, or somewhere you were all along."

By this time, I had to blink again to keep my vision clear, and I hugged my arms to my chest. "It's beautiful, it really is, but—"

"I've been going every weekend since...you know. It's because of _Riku_...he once told me that they were...other worlds...and other people...and we're all—"

Sora didn't finish his sentence. I didn't have to ask him to. I just continued looking up in what was one of the first times I had felt happy in a long time.

Sora finally began talking again. "I don't know how you were able to cope, but this is me. This is what I hold onto."

I almost did sit up to look at him. "You know how I cope?" I openly said. I was actually talking to him about it now. This seemed to surreal: speaking about something I had held inside for so long. When I was sure Sora was listening, I took a deep breath, and said breathlessly, "I see someone for it."

"No way—" he replied, and this time he looked towards me. "Like a...psych—"

"Yes, of course, don't make fun of me," I told him.

_"Oh."_

My skin was turning warm. It was all out in the open now. He thought about it, I thought about it just as much, but now we were just two people, with the same problems hovering over our heads, under the same sky. Every once in awhile, the sky would twinkle again and again, and I would have to blink once..._twice_...a third time, but I couldn't keep my eyes open anymore.

It hurt thinking I wouldn't be able to see the stars again.

**—–-**

_"Oh, what happened to her?"_

I feel like I'm floating on air.

_"Just sleepy, it's alright."_

Where are the stars?

_"Oh, put her in bed now. It's good you—"_

I feel a slight lessening of being suspended in air, and these familiar comfy coverings are put over me. I rub my bare feet together, and I hug the sheets closer to myself, almost covering my entire head.

I don't know how much time passes, but a little later my eyes open a little, but it's completely dark, except for a light coming from the bathroom. I don't open my eyes completely, but I see the figure of Sora coming from the shower, a towel wrapped around his waist and another towel in his hands, while he tried drying his hair.

My cheeks turned red, and subtly, I turned to face the other side, trying to make it like I was just shifting in my sleep. Sora stopped drying his hair, but he continued when he thought I had fallen back asleep.

Pretty soon, Sora had gotten into bed and fallen asleep just as soon as he had gotten under the sheets. So I left the wondering of how I got there for the morning.

**—–-**

When I woke up, the clock said it was two in the afternoon. I hadn't really overslept like that before, and I was sure Sora had never done that before. I looked over to his bed, and it was already neatly made up. I immediately sat up, and saw no sign for Sora, except his backpack sitting on the table. I looked to the doors leading out to the balcony.

I kicked off the covers of the bed and found that I was still wearing the same zip-up dress and cami I had worn yesterday, but I didn't even anticipate the weather outside. I pushed away the curtains and saw a flurry of snowflakes falling heavily, again shocking me, as it was _fall_.

I was about to push open the door and feel the snowflakes myself, but on the glass, I saw breathed onto the glass:

_"I suggest taking a warm shower... Sora was here"_

Touching the cold glass, I felt the warmth of his breath on glass, and I wiped it away. I approached the shower, and actually took Sora's suggestion.

By the time I had all lathered, rinsed, and repeated, I put on my old clothes, which was probably wrong, since I'd have to go out in that snowstorm. I put on the clothes, but I had the idea where or when to go out and buy a pair of sweatpants.

When I opened the bathroom door, Sora was sitting on his bed, apparently waiting for me to get out of the shower. He looked up when he heard me come out, and he in a mellow voice, "Good afternoon."

He was also wearing the same clothes as yesterday, but there was a pile of coats next to him, and he was holding something else. He handed it towards me, and I took it. Just by feeling it, I knew it was some kind of warm fabric.

"Uh...thank you, Sora," I offered, and he half-heartedly smiled and walked to the balcony doors. "I called your mom this morning and told her we're coming home today."

Again, I just stared at Sora, and offered another, "Thank you," before turning back into the bathroom. I closed the door, and I almost slid down onto the floor to realize what had just happened.

I had put on the sweatpants, which fit perfectly, and looked at myself in the mirror. What kind of stretch of luck I had this weekend was some kind of magic, because Sora was nice to me, and I didn't know how I was supposed to act when we got home—as before, hating each other's presence, or the same as this weekend, when we were friends again.

I left the bathroom after brushing through my hair with my fingers and washing my face. I took a deep breath, and Sora was waiting by the front door for me, his backpack already slung on his shoulder.

I grabbed my bag, my phone on the nightstand, and put on the snug winter coat before heading to put on my shoes. I leaned over to tie them completely, and when I stood up, Sora stood in front of me. He was wearing a similar coat to mine, and a scarf was wrapped around his neck. He held a similar one in his hands, and before I could interject, he wrapped it snugly around my neck, better than I could've done by myself.

_"I want to go around a little first,"_

We both said at the same time.

**—–-**

The blizzard had begun to let up, and we were able to walk around in the snow for a bit longer before the only train to the islands was going to leave. We passed by the 104 building, where there were only a few brave souls wandering around in the snow. The fountain in the middle had become solid ice, and some kids were still slipping around on it. The dog statue, who I had read was named Hachikō, still stayed in the same position with snow being clumped on the bottom.

Then we passed the Fourth District, where the lights were still on and the moogle was sitting by the entrance to the train station. It looked at us, and stood up to see us.

"Kupo! What're you doing?" it asked.

"We're leaving today to go back home," I answered it.

"No—" It came up to both of us, and reached up to take Sora's hand, and my hand, and made us hold them together.

My body instantaneously grew warmer than before, and I had to adjust the scarf itching at my neck. "You'll get cold staying separately! Have a good trip, kupo!" and with that, it flew off to talk to another moogle on the other side of the square.

I looked to Sora, who was also a little red, and I decided to lead him along, almost forgetting our hands were to be stuck to each other for awhile.

**—–-**

The train ran a little slower than I wanted, but I passed the time by being able to watch the ocean that Sora had watched when we were coming into the town. I sat by the window, which faced the beautiful colors of the ocean. Some parts were freezing over from the unexpected snowstorm, but still, farther out, I could see the bluest parts of the ocean, just waiting for warmer times.

It had already gotten dark, and we still weren't home. The train had to stop multiple times to avoid overheating the engine, but the snow storm was beginning to clear out and dwindle into just a little drizzle of snowflakes. Sora sat up straight the entire time, silently looking ahead into the seat in front of him.

I watched the snowflakes decrease in number, and pretty soon, the sky was now completely black, no snow floating to the ground. At this time, I closed my eyes, and leaned into the back of my chair. Lightly, I felt my head leaning over to the right, until it rested on what I thought was the chair's headrest.

Eventually, I felt movement, but I didn't lift my head from the headrest. Then, I felt something new...the slight weight of someone else leaning onto the headrest. I didn't open my eyes, but through my eyes, a tear escaped, one which I hadn't known why. I felt steady breathing, whether it was mine, or the person next to me.

Is this a mistake?

**—–-**

When I woke, the breathing was gone, the weight of someone else, the pillow I had, was all gone. I looked to my right, and no one was there. A man in his early twenties sitting next to us got up when I did, and chuckled to me, saying, "You two were so silent."

He showed me his phone, and there was a photo from his seat that looked a lot like me, sleeping on Sora's shoulder, while he slept on my head lightly. I had barely felt it, and this was what happened. I looked up to the man with a puzzled look on my face, but the man beat me to it.

"There," he said when he deleted the photo. "It's okay."

He left the train car, and I was left looking at the seat where Sora was sitting. My bag was on it, even though I hadn't remembered putting it there. I put it on my side...

The train station was quiet, and seemed like I was the last one out, because afterwards, they closed all the doors and turned off the lights. When I opened my phone, it read 0:17, a little past midnight, September 17.

I shut my phone, and put it in the pocket of my sweatpants. In the other pocket, however, I felt something was weighing it down. I dug around, and pulled out what looked like a tiny box with a piece of paper on top.

When I opened the box up, it was something I had almost forgotten about. All shiny and new, like it was bought this morning, was the necklace I had eyed last night when Sora wasn't looking. The pearl looked shinier than I thought, even under the dark and crisp sky. I breathed heavily, the moist from my breath forming a tiny cloud that disappeared later.

I ripped off the paper, and in the dim light, I was able to read the childish handwriting of a boy I once knew—one I thought I had lost just recently. But after this weekend, I felt his presence, his heart being exactly where it was supposed to be. Never has my hope been that restored.

"_'Happy birthday, Kairi.'_"

I put the box and note in my bag, and continued walking home. Nothing said a happy birthday like you forgetting the very day you were born, and your best friend remembering it for you.

"_'Love, Sora.'_

* * *

><p>Don't really want to spoil the moment with a stupid author's note, but I just wanted to let you know three things: One, this took me about 8 hours. Straight. 9 am to 5 pm. And it seemed a lot longer in my head, but it just came out to 10,000 words. That's a record! *High five*<p>

Second: I finished KH3D, and I have to say it is quite perfect :) I'm sure all of you will like it...(that means go out and buy it. Now.) Third: I posted a oneshot for today, September 17, for the Kingdom Hearts 10th anniversary...there's spoilers but what the hell it's ok hahaha Thanks for reading this I put a lot of work into it~

**x HAPPY SOKAI DAY 2012 & 10TH ANNIVERSARY x**


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